Cuerpo de Paz Panama

Stealing ideas from Ms. Mary Walsh

2011-06-02T07:51:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. It's been yet another long time since my last post. With only a few weeks left here in site, I've been kind of overwhelmed saying goodbye and getting a grip on the future and so I've kept quite on this blog. I'm pretty darned anxious to be honest and I don't like the free-falling feeling I get knowing that I have to start a new chapter of life soon. I am super excited to see my family though. If it weren't for that I might run off into the jungle and never be heard from again. Who knows? Anyway, as I coming to terms with saying goodbye to the "toughest job you'll ever love/ hate/ that will make you sick/ make you feel more fulfilled than you thought possible/ make you misanthropic/ make you believe that humanity can accomplish anything" (ok those last ones were mine) I'd like to share a document called our "Description of Service". This is, appropriately, a sum-up of all of the work we've done in our two years here. Enjoy!

Description of Peace Corps Service

Kelsi Loos

Panamá 2009-2011

After a competitive application process stressing technical skills, motivation, adaptability, and cross-cultural understanding, Peace Corps invited Ms. Kelsi Loos to serve as a Tourism and English Advising volunteer in the Central American nation of Panama.

Pre-Service Training

Ms. Loos began an intensive 10-week pre-service training on April 21, 2009 in Santa Clara, a small community outside of Arraijan, around an hour west of Panama City. The program consisted of language training, technical training, and cross-sector training. Part of technical training consisted of Ms. Loos conducting a Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats (SWOT) analysis with the community to understand and practice community-based development, preparing lesson plans, and teaching in El Copé, Coclé.

Training program included:

· 110 hours of formal instruction in Spanish

· 30 hours of country specific studies (the history, economics and cultural norms of Panama)

· 135 hours of technical training (lesson planning, classroom management, the SIOP teaching model, Peace Corps programs and methodology and community based development best practices)

· 55 hours of field-based exercises (PCV visit, site visit, technical week, culture week)

· 15 hours of medical training

· 190 hours of various interviews

Assignment

On July 1, 2009, Ms. Loos completed training and was sworn in as a Peace Corps Volunteer. She was assigned to Cambutal, a Latino community of about 1,000 located two hours south (by bus) of the provincial capital Las Tablas, Los Santos. Cambutal has an emerging tourism economy centered on surfing however, most community members earn a living cattle ranching, fishing, other agricultural activities, or working in construction. There is an elementary school present but for higher education, the children must leave the community, often heading for the district capital of Tonosí or Las Tablas.

Tourism Advising

The primary project assigned to Ms. Loos was to advise and consult the Committee for the Sustainable Development of Cambutal, the organization which requested a volunteer. Certain members of this group splintered off to form Tortuagro (Group for the Conservation of Marine Turtles and the Development of Tourism and the Agricultural Sector of Cambutal). Ms. Loos's main task then became organizing this new group through partnerships with Conservation International and a local NGO, NIDA (Niños de Azuero/ Children of the Azuero). Working together with these organizations and Ms. Loos, the group was able to begin the process of securing legal NGO status and accomplish diverse projects such as building a turtle egg hatchery, beach patrol, community outreach activities, and exchanges with other marine turtle conservation groups as near as Isla Cañas and as far as Costa Rica and Nicaragua.

Ms. Loos also investigated various local sustainable revenue sources for the group, including the development of a computer center in the Center for Communication and Environmental Education (Tortuagro's de-facto office) and a recycling project. Side ventures included selling mahogany and the Popsicles locally known as duros. She also offered a 36 hour English course to group members and the community at large with a focus on communicating with tourists and sensitivity to cultural differences.

Ms. Loos also worked with the Agrotourism cooperative, Rebirth of Cambutal. There was a rivalry between this group and Tortuagro so Ms. Loos gained valuable experience working neutrally and managing local political and personal disputes. With the Panamanian counterpart she invited to Peace Corps' project management and leadership workshop, she offered a stream-lined version of the same training to the cooperative. She also invited fellow volunteers to give an agro-business/ agro-tourism workshop to the group and the community at large. While no members of the cooperative actually attended, the event was still a success because of the enthusiasm of the unaffiliated community members who did participate.

Finally, Ms. Loos advised an ATP [Tourism Authority of Panama] employee based in Cambutal in various promotional materials for the community including a website and brochure.

English Advising

During Ms. Loos' first year of service, she taught English classes Thursdays and Fridays in the elementary school. The school in this time had a part time English teacher who worked in another school the days Ms. Loos taught. The school had about 80 students and ranged from kindergarten to sixth grade. There were three instructors managing two grades per classroom and an English teacher, a special education teacher, and a kindergarten teacher. During Ms. Loos' second year of service, the school hired a fluent, full-time English teacher and they began to informally share ideas and methodology as well as practice English together.

Most of Ms. Loos' English teaching was done outside of the classroom. She informally tutored many community members, and had about four regular students. She offered a general English night class at the beginning of her service and began the above-mentioned tourism focused course towards the end of it.

Ms. Loos also participated in a week-long workshop on the SIOP model of teaching in Changuinola, Bocas del Toro.

Secondary Activities/Projects

Computer Center

Partnering with Tortuagro and with the guidance of her Associate Peace Corps Director, Ms. Loos secured a donation of fifteen computers and a printer for the Center of Communication and Environmental Education. She then planned a 62 hour computer course with a local university student who taught the community how to properly use and maintain the equipment. Ms. Loos also initiated contact between Tortuagro and INFOPLAZAS, an agency for the advancement of technological services who will help to provide internet once the group has official NGO status.

Recycling

Ms. Loos began a recycling program with educational talks led by NIDA in the school. They also began a community involvement campaign including meetings, pamphleteering, and trash clean up days. They then solicited donations for bins and paint from local hotels and began collecting recycling to sell in Las Tablas. This project was in a constant state of renovation Ms. Loos responded to unforeseen problems and opportunities. The project was left under the management of Tortuagro in partnership with the Representative of Cambutal. She led recycling awareness activities in the communities of Pedasí and Valleriquito as well as advised fellow volunteers in Los Santos (and one in the province of Veraguas) interested in recycling projects.

Tonosí Conservation and EcoTourism Fair

The neighboring volunteer in Isla Cañas and Ms. Loos planned a Conservation Fair in their district capital of Tonosí with the cooperation of the Mayor and agencies including ARAP (Aquatic Resource Conservation), Conservation International, NIDA, MIDES (Ministry of Social Development), and the Azuero Earth Project. They invited community groups from the district of Tonosí to share and celebrate their work with others and learn from speeches by the participating organizations. For many groups, including Tortuagro, this was their first chance to present themselves in public and interact face to face with Panamanian agencies.

Youth Activities

Throughout service, Ms. Loos was involved with the youth of Cambutal. Her first English class was designed for secondary school students. She and visiting volunteers also led games for children during an ex-patriot's New Year's party as a healthy alternative to the alcohol-based activities of the adults. The youth were involved in the recycling project and turtle conservation activities through talks in the schools, community cleaning days, and beach patrol.

Ms. Loos supported an ex-patriot's adaptation of the Nutcracker as a way to showcase the youth's talent and raise funds for a family in need.

In partnership with the ATP, she helped develop a Youth Night including songs, dance, and trivia as a way to get the youth interested in learning and to provide a safe social activity for them.

Peace Corps Leadership

Ms. Loos participated in the training of the last group of Tourism and English Advising volunteers. In addition, she facilitated during the four day project management and leadership workshop of group 65. She hosted a total of four volunteers on their site-visit, offering them their first glimpse of Peace Corps work in practice. In addition, she was the secretary of the Gender and Development committee.

Language Skills

Ms. Loos has achieved an medium advanced competency level in Spanish during her service and effectively used Spanish to communicate while working in her community, with Panamanian government and non-government agency counterparts, and in daily life.

Ms. Loos completed her Peace Corps service in Panama on June 17, 2011.

Statement of Subcomandante Marcos to the Freeing the Media Teach-In

2011-03-27T11:19:00.000-07:00

[I'm taking a break from the regular blog to bring you this statement from Subcomandante Marcos in honor of my decision to attend Journalism School in the fall. I'll be back soon with real updates because there is a lot to talk about.]

Statement of Subcomandante Marcos to the Freeing the Media Teach-In
organized by the Learning Alliance, Paper Tiger TV, and FAIR in cooperation with the Media & Democracy Congress, Jan.31/Feb.1 1997, NYC.

We're in the mountains of Southeast Mexico in the Lacandon Jungle of Chiapas and we want to use this medium with the help of the National Commission for Democracy in Mexico, to send a greeting to the Free the Media Conference that is taking place in New York, where there are brothers and sisters of independent communication media from the US and Canada.

At the Intercontinental Encounter for Humanity and Against Neoliberalism we said: A global decomposition is taking place, we call it the Fourth World War-- neoliberalism: the global economic process to eliminate that multitude of people who are not useful to the powerful-- the groups called "minorities" in the mathematics of power, but who happen to be the majority population in the world. We find ourselves in a world system of globalization willing to sacrifice millions of human beings.

The giant communication media: the great monsters of the television industry, the communication satellites, magazines, and newspapers seem determined to present a virtual world, created in the image of what the globalization process requires.

In this sense, the world of contemporary news is a world that exists for the VIP's-- the very important people. Their everyday lives are what is important: if they get married, if they divorce, if they eat, what clothes they wear and what clothes they take off-- these major movie stars and big politicians. But common people only appear for a moment-- when they kill someone, or when they die. For the communication giants and the neoliberal powers, the others, the excluded, only exist when they are dead, or when they are in jail or court. This can't go on. Sooner or later this virtual world clashes with the real world. And that is actually happening: this clash produces results of rebellion and war throughout the entire world, or what is left of the world to even have war.

We have a choice: we can have a cynical attitude in the face of the media, to say that nothing can be done about the dollar power that creates itself in images, words, digital communication, and computer systems that invades not just with an invasion of power, but with a way of seeing that world, of how they think the world should look. We could say, well, "that's the way it is" and do nothing. Or we can simply assume incredulity: we can say that any communication by the media monopolies is a total lie. We can ignore it and go about our lives.

But there is a third option that is neither conformity, nor skepticism, nor distrust: that is to construct a different way-- to show the world what is really happening-- to have a critical world view and to become interested in the truth of what happens to the people who inhabit every corner of this world.

The work of independent media is to tell the history of social struggle in the world, and here in North America-- the US, Canada and Mexico, independent media has, on occasion, been able to open spaces even within the mass media monopolies: to force them to acknowledge news of other social movements.

The problem is not only to know what is occurring in the world, but to understand it and to derive lessons from it-- just as if we were studying history-- a history not of the past, but a history of what is happening at any given moment in whatever part of the world. This is the way to learn who we are, what it is we want, who we can be and what we can do or not do.

By not having to answer to the monster media monopolies, the independent media has a life work, a political project and purpose: to let the truth be known. This is more and more important in the globalization process. This truth becomes a knot of resistance against the lie. It is our only possibility to save the truth, to maintain it, and distribute it, little by little, just as the books were saved in Fahrenheit 451--in which a group of people dedicated themselves to memorize books, to save them from being destroyed, so that the ideas would not be lost.

This same way, independent media tries to save history: the present history-- saving it and trying to share it, so it will not disappear, moreover to distribute it to other places, so that this history is not limited to one country, to one region, to one city or social group. It is necessary not only for independent voices to exchange information and to broaden the channels, but to resist the spreading lies of the monopolies. The truth that we build in our groups, our cities, our regions, our countries, will reach full potential if we join with other truths and realize that what is occurring in other parts of the world also is part of human history.

In August 1996, we called for the creation of a network of independent media, a network of information. We mean a network to resist the power of the lie that sells us this war that we call the Fourth World War. We need this network not only as a tool for our social movements, but for our lives: this is a project of life, of humanity, humanity which has a right to critical and truthful information.

We greet all of you, recognizing the work you have done so that the struggle of indigenous people is known, and that other struggles are known, so that the great events of this world are seen in a critical form. We hope your meeting is a success and that it results in concrete plans for this network, these exchanges, this mutual support that should exist between cultural workers and independent media makers. We hope that one day we can personally attend your meeting, or perhaps that one day you can have your conference in our territory, so we can listen to your words and you can hear ours in person. For now, well, we take advantage of the help of the National Commission for Democracy in Mexico (NCDMUSA) to use this video to send a greeting. This section in English: I don't know if my English is OK but good luck and so long. Cut.

Playing Politics

2011-02-11T06:09:00.000-08:00

Since I last posted, the days have just flown by! The trainee visit went swimmingly. The girls seemed so nervous but it's understandable. They had only been in country for about a week and a half. I guess it's a good idea to let them see what a Peace Corps site is like right away but I imagine it wasn't easy to jump into the deep end like that. Not to sound too cocky, but they were lucky to visit my site :-). The first day was the performance of our version of the Nutcracker. It went beautifully! I was so proud of all the kids and it seemed like they were proud of themselves. Additionally, we raised a lot of money for a family that's going through a hard time. Everyone is already talking about next year's production. That's sustainable, yo!

During the volunteer visit, my homegirl from El Cortezo came by just in time to see our leatherback nest hatch! It was a pretty magical moment. I had never seen leatherback babies before and they are huge compared to the Olive Ridley... I think they are cuter too. We also all got to go to a baile in town. I don't know why but I got this huge rush of pride from being the first one to take the trainees to a baile. I hope they had a good time. It was a little hard to tell. Their dance partners were all respectful as far as I could see, so that's good. We also made time for the beach, of course, and Alisa got some surf practice in. Some good friends from Chitre were also down so they got to meet them... basically the visit was timed perfectly.

After that, I took a well deserved vacation to the Kuna Yala with Katie. We went without much of a plan but it turned out to be a great adventure and went smoothly. We started off by staying in Casco Viejo, a part of the city which I hadn't had much chance to explore yet. It reminds me of Fell's Point in the sense that it a gentrifying area by the water surrounded by ghetto. Honestly, it kind of made me homesick. We had a nice dinner and some interesting conversation with this older ex-pat guy dealing in textiles who ended up paying for the meal. I think generosity is contagious in Panama. We spent the rest of the night making fun of the backbackers at Luna's Castle. Always good times. We chatted with these Argentinians who said they were in Panama to start a revolution so we got onto politics. I am always interested to hear people's impressions of the American People. It kind of made me laugh that they thought the average American spent any time at all thinking about the US corporate takeover of Latin America, as if there were a thought-process behind our neo-colonialism. It's business, plain and simple, and the vast majority don't know or care about it's consequences. That's the most dangerous thing. I kept these thoughts to myself because I don't like when people talk about a people they don't know yet.

We made it to the comarca the next morning bright and early and I was blown away by the beautiful sea and how DIFFERENT everything was. Like I said, we had no plan so we just asked the boat driver at the airport to take us to a cheap place nearby. We ended up in a place over the water with a really interesting owner. She was cool to talk to and her son and his Ministerio de Salud friends were also super nice. They took us in a boat to Isla Tigre so we could check it out, then to this deserted island where we could swim a little. We even found some conch to eat. yum yum. Before the boat trip, we had some time to check out Nargana, a well-developed island you can walk to by bridge. They told us it used to be a Peace Corps site and it would be good one it looks like. There was a grade school and a high school to work in, as well as various agencies. I'm not sure why PC stopped working in Kuna Yala but people said they wanted volunteers... One thing that made me laugh was that the houses are for the most part cana and penca huts with sand floors. They look really humble but we stopped to get flan in this one and I looked inside. To my surprise, they had a large flatscreen, a soundsystem, and a wii... in their grass hut. Panama is like that sometimes.

Modeling/ Site Developing

The next day we went out to Isla Tigre or Diger Dupu in Kuna which is a smaller, much more traditional island. The sea is less contaminated by trash and the over-the-water latrines so we could swim there. We stayed in a cabana built like a traditional Kuna house; cana, straw roofs, and sand floors. Because the wind could get in, it was nice and cool inside. The owners and staff were really awesome here too. I think because Digir Dupu sees less tourism than the eastern islands, they were pretty relaxed with us. I never felt like anyone was putting on a show, which I appreciated. We just chatted a lot about Kuna culture and crafts. The chef taught us some sweet card tricks, most of which I have unfortunately forgotten already. I was able to use one for my English class, though. The cabanas are set a little ways away from the settlement but we took some time to pasear. Walking around seeing the women's traditional dress was the best part. These ladies got style. It was a little weird though because as soon as we entered the "mainstreet" people wanted to sell us their crafts. They weren't pushy but it's something I'm not used to. I ended up picking up a Mola and Katie got a bracelet. I was hoping to get another mola so I could have one for my family and one for me but the pressure to buy weirded me out so I didn't. I think it's because I'm used to just shooting the breeze like a Santena that the directness of "Hey, you wanna buy my stuff?" was weird. Also, people didn't want their picture taken. WHAT KIND OF PANAMANIAN DOESN'T WANT THEIR PICTURE TAKEN!? I guess the people are Kuna first, Panamanian second.

Also, we saw a sign that said Stephen Segal. We never got a straight answer as to why it was there.

I was really looking forward to snorkeling but the sea was too rough to go to the best spot. I settled on snorkeling nearby and it was ok but I didn't get to see much. The water was cloudy. I mostly just like the rush of breathing underwater anyhow. Your brain is like, NO DON'T DO IT!!! but you do anyway. Other than that we spent a lot of time reading, getting some sun, and chatting. It was a joy to get away from the stress of site.

Things are going well in town but the stress comes from trying to keep up with all the events we're planning and meetings I have to go to. It's a lot of juggling, following-up, and making back up plans. We were supposed to get the computers last week with the representante but he said he was too busy on the date we had set. THEN I find out he went to the city the next day to work out a scholarship for one of the kids. He didn't mention this to me and he really should have. Stuff like this is why I get stressed. So now I have to find another ride because I'm not trusting this guy for anything anymore. I've given him enough chances and every time he screws me. Si Dios quiere, I'll go with my community counterpart Monday. He is just as untrusting and misanthropic as me so we'll have a lot to talk about. Then comes the big step of actually teaching people how to use the machines. I'm also trying to plan a business plan talk and a beach clean-up but with the environmental feria in Tonosi, carnival, and the close or service conference coming up, I can't figure out a date. I've also taken on new tutees for English. We just started but it seems to be going well. I've realized that I like community organizing way better than teaching English. I don't know weather I don't care for teaching English because I'm not good at it or if I'm not good at it because I don't care for it. I'm thinking about a tourism-focused English class for Tortuagro anyway. Apart from that, I signed up to translate for American doctors that are coming to give treatment in Veraguas. That's about it, really. A lot of planning and hoping not to drop the ball.

Until next time,

Chau

Don't think this day can get any weirder...

2011-01-27T08:28:00.000-08:00

What a morning! I might as well preface the story by saying that for the past few days I have been getting up at dawn to cook for a medical gira that has been going on in site and staying up late to practice for the "cascanueces" so I'm a little loopy from lack of sleep. It's good to be working but still... ANYWAY...

Today we were going to bring the recycling to Las Tablas and, in my fog, I'm getting it ready to go in the morning when I find that someone has disposed of a saco of garbage including vials of glucose and used needles. Gracias a Dios, I didn't get stuck but this is the second time in my life I've been THISCLOSE to getting pricked by some random dirty needles. (The other time was walking around Baltimore in my flip flops... I almost stepped on one. Freaky!) Even though nothing happened it makes you think about how random life can be. One minute I'm just cleaning up trash and then the next I might have had to set up an HIV test. Sheesh. And the Ministerio de Salud wouldn't even help me set up HIV screening for my site.

The insanity wasn't over though. On our way to Las Tablas the car's tire CATCHES ON FIRE! Not just smoking, no, IN FLAMES! Big ones. It turns out the brake fluid had leaked all over it and the friction caused a fire. My friend was able to put it out and make it to Tonosi but he was unable to repair the car in time for me to make it to the recycling plant because I have to be back in site to meet some Peace Corps trainees who I fully plan on terrifying with this story :-). Luckily we're all ok so it's nothing more than an inconvenience.

I'm looking forward to meeting the new kids. We will have a lot to do with the play coming up tomorrow and I'm going to make them help me with random projects once that it over... and also build my friend Franklin's house (just kidding). No relaxing on the beach for these folks! Well... we'll make a little time for that too.

Sometimes the Stars Allign Just Right

2011-01-19T05:28:00.000-08:00

These past couple weeks have been just mind blowing. Super busy but paying off in big ways. I got word from my boss that our computer donation came through so we've got 15 computers waiting for us in Panama City!!! We still will have to look for equipment such as surge protectors and whatnot but this is huge! We've just got to coordinate the transportation and we're good to go. Next step will be classes in how to use and care for the equipment. Then the big hurdle, internet.

Our sea turtles are hatching!!! Last night, I got to count the babies so I actually got to hold them in my hands. It was amazing, to say the least. It's a huge relief that the vivero works because the first nest was slow to hatch so I thought the eggs might have been friend or destroyed by bugs or something but, no, the babies were just taking their sweet time.

We've also starting practice for the Nutcracker. I'm not going to lie, the 1st one was absurd and really not coordinated but who cares as long as people are having fun. I hope we get everything ready by the show date of the 27th... It's going to be an insane amount of work but its a great way to get people united and getting kids more confident on themselves. Truth be told, the girl playing Clara, the star, is a natural. For someone that has never acted or even been exposed to this kind of thing, she's really amazing. Her brother is playing the Nutcracker and they practiced the waltz even though he had gash on his foot from a surf injury. If that's not dedication, I don't know what is. Dude was bleeding all over the place.

I wish the best for you and yours!

In heaven everything is fine

2011-01-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

I see some resemblance. Just call me the Lady in the Radiator... except this country doesn't need radiators.

Good times, owies and everything between

2011-01-06T00:29:00.000-08:00

I hope you all had a great holiday and New Year! This year I decided to spend them in site and although I really missed my family and friends back home, I'm glad I got to see how Panamanians get down for Christmas. It was super-low key and the Church didn't even open but I tried to spread some cheer giving out Christmas cards. I think people liked it. New Years was a lot more interesting. An ex-pat friend threw a party for the whole town and asked me to help with games. Two friends from the region came to help and I'm so glad they decided to make it because it turned out to be a big job! We ended up being the life of the party and even the adults got in on the musical chairs action and what not!

(The calm before the crazy/ my community is now in love with Dylan and Kenny and want to have their babies.)

("Towel Dancing" More like Dirty Dancing if you ask me. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaw yeah.)

(Limbo time)

(Burn mother phoenix, burn)

Other than that, things have been a little slow with the holidays around and all. I'm still trying to get an HIV prevention talk in town, still trying to put on the Nutcracker, still planning the environmental feria, still working with the turtle group. The New Year promises to be a good one, loaded with activities. The only other news is that I got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. I look like a chipmunk. Everything seems to have gone well and I'm fine besides being awake at 4am posting to this blog because I can't sleep because my face hurts. The stuff they gave me for the pain works about as well as baby aspirin but I'll soldier through, like a real PCV. :-) The whole thing went by really fast. I remember being really nervous in the dentist chair, then they knocked me out The next thing I know I'm being shoved into a cab going back to the hotel, then the cabbie is shoving me inside, then the doorman is shoving me into my room. I don't really remember much of it. Respect to the other volunteers who checked in on me and everything that day. It means so much to me! You guys are great!

Until next time.

Soy un playero pero no hay playa. OH MY GOLLY! OH MY GOLLY!

2010-12-07T19:29:00.000-08:00

Hey HEY hey! These past couple weeks have been an emotional roller coaster and super busy! It started on a bittersweet note with Thanksgiving. The sweet part was that I had a great time with my fellow volunteers in Cerro Punta enjoying the cool mountain weather and GREAT food. I could have bathed in that vat of mac and cheese. Seeing everybody again was cool, I wish we could have spent more time to catch up. I got to call my family too! My friend from the mountains of Chepo, Deidre, came back afterward to my site with me and helped us look for turtle eggs. We didn't see any but she got to see eggs that the other group found at least. Plus she got to hang on the beach!

T-Day Dinner

There was some bitter afterward though. I had been working on getting the Centro de Salud to do a talk for World AIDS Day (Dec 1st). I was hoping that they could actually do testing in my town. They said they couldn't so I came to terms with that. Then they were too busy on the 1st. Fair enough, I accepted that as well and we made plans for them to come on the 2nd. On the 1st I ran up and down town inviting EVERYONE to the talk but what happened the next day? No one showed up. No explanation, no nothing. I took it really hard because I had been doubting my work and am starting to feel like I'm running out of time here. I tore myself up and got all angsty but when I chilled out and got proactive and gave the hospital a call, it turns out that there was MASSIVE flooding in Tonosi and not only were they in emergency mode, the road to my site was underwater. Wow... so there was a very good reason that we got stood up. We'll just have to reschedule for later. At least I have a giant box of condoms from my homeboys at NIDA.

A wonderful ex-pat and I partnered up like last year for making mothers day cards. It was a lot of fun. SO MUCH GLITTER! It's wonderful to see the kids (and parents too) getting creative. The ex-pat has the idea to put on the Nutcracker for Christmas. I think it's really ambitious but a wonderful idea. It's asking my community to go completely outside their comfort zone but I think that might be a good thing. I hope I can be a help! I did direct "No Exit" in college... same thing right?

My neighbor volunteer, Katie, and I are also being ambitious. We're trying to arrange a sort of environmental festival in Tonosi, the capital of our district. The idea is that we invite our respective turtle conservation groups, the government agencies, and eco-tourism business owners to do talks for the community so they learn about conservation and learn what groups are doing in our district. While that's going on we'll have fun games for the kids like a toss the recycling carnival-style game, dramatizations of a turtles life, and maybe a bob for seaweed game with grapes or something for actual seaweed. To finish the event we're thinking a movie showing. I'm thinking "Finding Nemo" but we'll see what works...

Speaking of the turtle group, we're doing ok. We have 15 nests in our vivero and one is Leatherback eggs! Very endangered, and in terms of the groups success, the fact that we have Leatherbacks will definitely get big, well-funded, international conservation organizations interested in us. I hope we keep finding them. I have yet to see an actual turtle in my site but I set a batch of eggs in the vivero myself! I hope I did it right and that the turtles don't die.

The turtle group, CTTC, made it through their first trial by fire when one of the directive members misappropriated funds. Really blatantly... like... really stupidly... shockingly... wow. What happened was that we are working with Conservation International and they wanted us to make some food for their workshop and they needed a place to stay as well. The directive agreed to sell plates at $2 but the individual proceeded to make a separate arrangement with CI for $4. So half the money essentially disappeared. The member maintains that she moved the money around for lodging and a separate, second meal, and that none of the extra went into her pocket. This was supported by a handwritten "receipt" written by herself. I like to think she really was acting with good intentions and was ignorant of how bad what she was doing looked from the outside, especially since she is the one who essentially set up the reformation of the turtle conservation group. In the end her "crime" is not so much robbery as acting in secret, which is something we will correct at our next meeting when we write the bylaws. The icing on the cake was that Conservation International actually offered to pay the CTTC what they should have received on the $4. In other words, not only were they misled, THEY OFFERED TO PAY FOR OUR MISTAKE! This was super embarrassing for all of us and we declined. It was quite a gesture though. They will not let us fail. They are inviting a national news channel to do a story on us too! Look for us on your Panama stataion, I guess.

Working hard has gotten me through the spazz-out I had over the AIDS day event and things are going well. On top of all of the stuff I've mentioned I also met with my community to choose a course from INADEH, a government agency that offers a wide variety of classes within communities. The people have spoken and they chose beauty classes. Good for me because I just gave myself a pretty terrible haircut.

I was going to go around and sign more people up for the class yesterday but I had another one of those migraines and couldn't get out of bed all day. I'm fine today I just wish I knew why I keep getting them. I thought it was connected to this sinus problem but the last Dr. I saw gave me some medicines that cleared up my sinuses so now I don't know... Also, my top left wisdom tooth has broken through the gum and that's kind of hurting too so I'll probably get those yanked out when I'm in Panama the 13th to do PML training. In funny (sort-of) health-related news the last time we went to look for turtle eggs, I had to walk barefoot because of mud and I stepped on a giant thorn. I thought I had taken the spine out but it was still hurting a week later so I grabbed a pin, tweezers, and matches to do some campo surgery and when I started digging around in the pad of my foot it started pussing... A LOT! Like a tablespoon or more there. It was pretty awesome. I squeeze and then all of the sudden a quarter inch long piece of thorn shoots out!!! How did I walk around on that for a week? I felt much better. Not as cool as bot-flies or anything but I wish I had video so you all could appreciate the wonders of the body's immune system.

Anyway, as I mentioned I was selected to help with PML (Project Management Leadership) for the new group. I'm really excited because when I was a participant, it totally turned my service around. It might have helped me even more than my counterpart in terms of getting confident and getting priorities straight.

I hope everything is going well with all you readers. I'd love some comments about what's going on with you. Until next time, much love. I'll leave you all with a picture from Hailey's birthday celebration. We're watching a trailer for an awesome movie about aliens and cowboys and I like that everyone it laughing. I don't know... it's cute

Life is Calling

2010-11-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

[An essay I'm going to try to get into our volunteer magazine "La Vaina"]

When the John F. Kennedy administration created the Peace Corps on September 22nd 1961, the United States was suffering a major public relations crisis. That year, Fidel Castro's victory in the Bay of Pigs thoroughly embarrassed the country and solidified popular support for Cuba, which at that time, had few allies among the governments of Latin America. In response to this black eye, and to make less tempting Marxist rebellion in the region, Kennedy proposed the "Alliance for Progress", a $20 billion program for land reform and wealth distribution in the region, and the creation of the Peace Corps, in a move Castro called "a very astute strategy for putting the brakes on the revolution". By 1962, there were seven Peace Corps countries in Latin America alone. So, if the Peace Corps was created in part to kill Marxism, where does that leave patriotic, leftist volunteers who have asked what they can do for their country? Can a government employee be a progressive?
Firstly, it is important to acknowledge that the Alliance for Progress, although an ultimate failure, and the Peace Corps were concessions to the Left. This is why they were effective, for a time, in corralling Cuba's growing regional influence. While certainly as far as possible from Marxist, the Peace Corps is leftist in the sense that it is designed to address root causes of poverty by aiding the advancement of disadvantaged people and in that we work with local cooperatives as opposed to corporations. Further, we are internationalists as opposed to nationalists, inclusive and not exclusive, capacity-building and not patronizing.
Secondly, we must remember that we are here with a political agenda. Of course, it would be incredibly inappropriate for us as foreign professionals working in a sovereign nation to instigate political activities of any kind but, as staff reminds us, we are representatives of the United States. We are part of a public relations campaign to bolster the image of the US abroad and, we are symbols of the friendship between our home country and our host country. The fact that we are Americans volunteering in disadvantaged communities is designed not only to give community members greater capacity to improve their own lives, but also to make the point the Americans are awfully nice people, so maybe our political agenda is not so bad either. This is goal number two. This implicit campaign of which all volunteers are a part carries with it great responsibility (think of our compadres who have been sent home for inappropriate behavior) but it also presents us with unique opportunities.
As community leaders we are in the perfect position to seek out and aid those who would like to see Panama become a more progressive country. However, as a politically neutral entity we cannot do so directly. Just because Che was in the business of exporting his own Latin blend of Marxist-Leninism does not mean that we should. What we can do, and what we have the responsibility to do is support groups, programs, and events that advance progressive ethics. GAD's work with community counterparts in addressing Panama's immense gender divide is a wonderful example. And all volunteers who attack racism, misogyny, homophobia, lack of access to education, etc. are doing their part in the struggle. Every time we help a cooperative or community group make itself stronger and more independent, we are moving forward. The most revolutionary thing we can do as volunteers is helping campesinos appreciate their own worth and feel that they can control their own destiny. Slowly but surely we are encouraging the development of a culture that one day may allow real, fundamental changes to the economic structure that disproportionately rewards the already wealthy and funnels scarce resources away from the poor.
As hard as we work here in country, it would be a waste to abandon our efforts when we return home. The experience we are gaining ought to be used to bring about change in our own neighborhoods. We could organize organic community gardens to reduce our dependence on corporate agriculture, start literacy classes for the homeless, teach English to recent immigrants, start sewing clubs so we don't have to buy sweat-shop products, or an adaptation of any one of the great projects Peace Corps volunteers are involved in here in Panama. Taking our experience into more political territory, we could work with labor groups. Think of a PML with fruit pickers or bus drivers! Dare I imagine hosting a GAD-style camp with Baltimore's young gang members!
Marxists might say that these activities are nothing more than a band-aid on a severed limb because they do nothing to change the "system" i.e. the marriage between big business, the military, and the government. But it is time to expand our definition of a revolutionary. It is not just a group of bearded men in green hats running around the mountains. It is not only a cloister of priests setting themselves on fire or men in wigs signing parchment. Change can come peacefully and without a media circus or a place in the history books. In this age of constant police surveillance and a US military budget of $533.8 billion, we should not be tempted by militaristic reactionary action. Violence, even the illusion of violence, only provides the corporate establishment with an excuse to crack down on any progress in wealth distribution, making it futile. The murders of 19th century strikers at the hands of the Pinkertons, the 1968 Democratic National Convention debacle, the assassination of Black Panthers, and the attack on the Kent State protesters demonstrate that our government has no problem eliminating citizens that are even perceived as a threat. In such an environment, change can only come quietly from the heart.
We need to work calmly but tirelessly in order to advance our cause based in our own values. If nothing else, Peace Corps has taught us patience and the value of slow but sure progress, and we can outlast and survive the most frustrating setbacks. We are an endless fount of creative solutions. In this era of complacency, it is vital that we give as much as we can to as many as we can, that we animate as many as we can. I would encourage you all to practice what you learn here back home and never forget who you are, an agent of change.

Everything that happens will happen today

2010-10-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

So much to catch up on as usual! I've had my bestest buddy from the states come visit. We had a blast although it was too short of a trip. I've gone back home and got my malieante on shooting with my fam and boyfriend. I went with my brother, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew to Busch Gardens and had one heck of a time! Sadly, I did not have a camera at that time so there are no pictures of how adorable they are. More recently, I've been traveling a lot this month. I spent some time in Pedasi, helping my NIDA friends establish a recycling program there. I think this thing will get easier as we go. I got to meet the famous Pucha, a surfer who came to learn about the project. I went to Isla Canas again (that place is like crack to me apparently) to help with a self esteem charla at the school fair. I'm not sure I'm the most qualified person for a self esteem talk because I'm not sure about... anything really... but it was still a great event and I hope I contributed something. I made some time for fun travel as well when I went to Guarare to enjoy the Mejorana festival, the prettiest party Panama has to offer. It's a celebration of the patron saint and a time to indulge in all thing tipico. It's supposedly illegal to play any music that isn't tipico in the town center during the festival. My friend Dave got himself a pair of cutarras and I even picked up my very own Panama hat finally! I also saw off two of my good buddies from the previous group who have finished their service. I'm sad to see them go but glad to have met them here. Good luck Azuer-bros!

In site, I've been working my tail off, trying to compensate for the fact that I have been out of site so much. I held a recycling competition in town. It was a blast but one team missed the point and just started grabbing bags of trash from people's houses. I admire their will to win, but trash isn't the same as recycling so we ended up sifting through a calf deep pile of filth for about two extra hours. We took the recycling to the plant but it was also kind of a disaster because the plastic machine is broken so they didn't want to take our plastics... which was pretty much 2/3 of the trash. I also apparently misunderstood the definition of "carton" so we had to eat that too. Que va? In the end, we're raising consciousness and even though I'm fairly certain this project will collapse the day I leave, at least the town has heard the word "recycling".

In brighter news, the computer thing is off to a much better start. We're starting fund raising as I write this and have almost finished our proposal. We still lack a treasurer but I'm sure someone will step up. I'm going to propose that we sell snacks during Dia de Campesino so I might get to be one of those meat on a stick ladies I love so much! I'm starting to feel like my time is winding down so I'm getting a little panicky about getting things done. I feel like I'm just starting to act like a real volunteer but it's almost time to go... sort of. When people ask me about if I'll request a follow up volunteer, I've talked a lot of smack about my site not really wanting or needing one but things have changed. All of a sudden there is a lot of work to do and finally people are involving me in it. At this point, I'll probably want to request a follow up just to finish the stuff I won't get to.

The other day, guides from the Isla Canas turtle cooperative came over to talk in the school. It was fun to have such energetic and enthusiastic people around and they loved my site. They did a really great job but I got nervous when the talk went from teaching the kids about a turtle's life journey to talking with this one teacher about the failure of my town's cooperative. She just got unbelievably defensive... or maybe it's just her way of talking. Anyway, I really just wanted to get the thing back on track with the kids but it took about twenty minutes. Then a weird thing happened today that might have been fallout from the class. I don't want to be paranoid, but a grandmother here that usually is super nice to me (she made me sleep in her house when I was sick with one of my vomit-inducing migraines) saw me coming down the street and didn't say hi. I say hi and ask how she's doing and just shakes her finger no at me. I'm just not sure what that meant. It's possible that she didn't want neighbors to know she was passing by for some reason or that she was sick and didn't want me to be so loud and enthusiastic in my greeting. She is a dyed in the wool turtle egg hunter though and I'm afraid that she was offended that I offered her son a class that essentially said that it was wrong. She's pretty quick to get brava with people so I wouldn't be surprised. I don't blame her or look down on the family for poaching eggs. This family in particular has almost no options in terms of making money and so they do what they can. They also just like going out and seeing turtles at night. I think they may not see the connecting between selling eggs and seeing turtles though. Anyway... In a weird coincidence of timing, the turtle coop here is restarting and invited me to a meeting the day after the talk in the school. I hope it goes well.

"Classes" are going ok but I really shouldn't call them classes. When they are in the mood, kids ask "Hey when are you teaching classes?" and I almost always respond, "Come by in the afternoon" and we go from there. The thing is, I've learned there is no point in planning a class when the kids only come when they feel like it anyway. I've gotten better about putting something together in about five minutes and I usually just try to reinforce what they are learning in school so it's not so bad. My little buddy Maria has been a solid rock star though. She shows up everyday I'm home and she is amazing. She's eight years old and can form simple English sentances. Today we were working on "to be" using emotion vocabulary. I ask "Are you happy?" she goes, "Yes, I am happy". "Are you sad?". "No, I am not sad." WHAT??!! How does she do that!? She's a pretty amazing kid. She's super into animals and the other day a cat ate one of her birds. She said it was bad that animals eat other animals. I tried to explain that it's just how nature is and she said that nature is bad... deep yo. I'll leave you all to ponder that until next time.

Eso me da pereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeza

2010-08-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I'll come right out and say it; I'm sure I want to keep up with this blog anymore. Everytime I actually get some time to sit down and write, too much has happened and I get overwhelmed. And even then when I do start I feel like I'm holding back all I want to say or feel like I can't explain myself to folks back in the US. God knows if we want to be marketable we have to be relatable :-P. If something truly exceptional or funny happens, I'll be sure to share it here but right now blogging feels like a chore and I have enough chores.

To make this entry easier, I'll just ask myself, "What's new?"

Thanks for asking.

I finished digsitting my friend perrita and we had SO much fun together! If it were easier to travel with a dog I would totally get one. Mabe a little one...

My friend's friend regalared me a rabbit. He escaped the 3rd day but then came back! Who ever heard of a rabbit comming back?! I was so relived. I'd post a picture but my camera is broken again. I don't know what I'm doing wrong with my cameras but this is #2 dead. He is white with blue eyes and a light-light barely there gray spot on his nose. Cute! I thought it was a girl so I named it Rosa but everyone insists it's a boy. When it gets older it will be more obvious but I'm going with boy for now but I don't have a boy name for it yet...

Today we brought out first shipment of recycling ot Las Tablas!!! WOOT WOOT! We make about $20 which covers the bags and gloves so that's great news! I want to see if I can sucker... I mean encourage... the guy who gave me a ride into heading up a group to actually sort the recycling because right now that's still all on me and it's not sustainable.

I went crabbing with my kiddies and peace corps friend from the island yesterday. I was really muddy and my chancletas broke again but it was still fun. The thing is, one of the kids randomly found a crab in my back yard (not their normal habitat) when looking for the rabbit and so I wanted to see if we could find enough for dinner. These are mudcrabs and so crabbing for them is way different from catching blue crabs out of the bay. You can either shoot them with a biombo or stab them in their holes with a metal rod-thing. It looks easier than it is but we had fun.

I had an issue with my alcoholic neighbor that I don't want to get into on a public forum but suffice it to say he's dead to me and I want to move but nobody's renting it seems. We'll see. The thing that sucks is that he's actually a pretty good guy when he's not wasted. Just this morning he helped me load the recycling on the truck but I'm still so mad at him I couldn't look at his pendejo face.

Other than that, I'm still working on getting a group together to handle the computer project and will probably do a turtle charla in the school for the kids. That's about it for major activities. Other than that I'm living life and trying to be a good example for the kids. I hope all is well in the states. Hold down the fort for me.

I look at you all and see the love there that's sleeping

2010-06-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

Life goes on here at the edge of the world. There has been a lot going on so I don't even know where to begin. I'm feeling kind of psychotic these days so I'll just throw things into a list.

1. I've been trying to think of a project I can do with the English teacher because she's pretty cool and I'd like to help. The problem is, she's got her stuff almost TOO together. She's fluent, uses materials pretty well... I mean... I'd like to talk with her about US teaching styles with her just so she could have a different point of view to work with but, we'll see. I'm moving slow so she doesn't think I'm trying to mandate or belittle her style or anything. She's offered to proofread my Spanish on Vida Sana, Pueblo Sano so that's something.

2. The recycling thing is progressing poco a poco. We were a little naive to think ANAM would be able to help much with transport with its limited resources and whatnot so I'm getting ready to see if we can organize community members to do it themselves. DIY is always the best option!

3. Just got back from another visit to my friend on a nearby island. Me and my counterpart went on a whim after she came to my town (also on a whim... think there is a pattern). We went to the beach here and basically just shot the breeze. When we went to the island we tried to see some turtles but they weren't laying. The beach was beautiful at night though! We painted some signs to direct tourists, worked on the Vida Sana, Pueblo Sano book, watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and hung out with kids and stuff. It was a really good time and on my way back I finally got to talk with my brother and his family! It had been forever and day.

4. Today they buried my neighbor's mom. She was in Panama with family to care for her because she was sick and they drove her all the way back to be buried here. There have been about four funerals since I've been here but this was first time I attended all parts; the viewing at the house, the mass, and the burial. Even though I never knew the woman who died I feel like it was important to show support for the family. It was also an interesting cultural experience. The rituals for grieving can vary but we all still miss our loved ones where they're gone. Pretty much the whole town was there and the woman was apparently was one of the first to settle here. You could see that a lot of people care about her.

5. The biggest news in town is another crazy narco-traffic story but it's not really clear to me what went down because I've heard the story like seven times and it keeps changing. It's better that I don't know anything anyway. This guy has a hotel way down the way and one of his workers got beat up either by police or drug dealers looking for stuff. He's ok but was in the hospital about a week. The family that owns the hotel is fed up with this town and leaving.

6. It looks like my 1st counterpart is excited about an idea to put computers in the Centro! It would be a great way to raise funds and also give the kids a place to do their work. Right now they have to do all their printing and such in a town 30 minutes a way and many of them are struggling to pay bus fare much less the fees they have to pay to use computers and print their homework. I think this could be a pretty successful venture judging by how many people are interested in it. I can see it being my 2nd year focus. It's going to be a lot of hard work but my boss gave me proposals from other volunteers who have set up computer centers so that takes a load off. Having a guide is so much easier than working blind. I gotta say, even though the office feels likes it's soooo far away, when you come to them needing something, they do their best to get it to you.

7. A friend of mine who works for a local NGO is getting married!!! CONGRATS!!!

8. Soon I'll be celebrating one year in Panama with most of my training group at a resort. After a year, it'll be interesting to see Panama through the eyes of a tourist. I'm super excited to catch up with friends. It's really interesting to see how we've all changed over the year. When I see my friends doing something that's "Panamanian" or "Ngobe" I just have to crack up. It should be good times.

9. GOING HOME SOON FOR A VISIT!!! Almost peeing myself in excitement.

10. My bestest buddy from home is coming to visit. My first visitor! I wish she had more time but I think there will be time to see a bit of Panama City, my site, and hopefully the island, if my buddy can host us. Almost peeing myself again... time to buy some new pants I guess.

11. I've been playing a lot of guitar lately and even though I'm freaking out my neighbors, it keeps me happy. I think I might have enough material to start a new project when my service is done. I've been playing so much that I GOT BLISTERS ON ME FINGERS again. Whoop whoop.

12. I've been feeling a little out of sorts these past couple months. There are times when I start to panic for very little reason or just beat myself up needlessly. I think it's that, as volunteers, at the end of the day we are our own bosses and some of us, like me, put way too much pressure on ourselves to have everything be successful and perfect immediately. I never really feel like I'm doing a good job. It even got to the point that on my trip to the island, I had this intermittent jealously of my friend there. I whined to myself about how she is more involved in the community, has more going on, actually works in the school etc. It kills me that I couldn't just be happy for a friend instead of making it about me. There is always a bright side though, and I learned something very important when I came back. As I was waiting for my bus, I happened to run into the other volunteer in our district. I immediately became aware of how stressed I looked because he told me. My hands and eyes were moving every-which way and it was hard to concentrate on what he was saying. We parted ways and I made my way home. On a day like this normally I would kind of hide in my house but I didn't have the keys. I went to hang out with my first host family until their son, who has a spare key, got home. Then I noticed something magic happen. As I hung out with the kids and listened to the older folks update the narco-traffic story for the seventh time, I stopped fidgeting. I could breathe easier and could concentrate on the world around me. By getting out into the world and actually being a human being, everything became ok. I think the main reason I've been so stressed is because I'm just too darn selfish and self-involved. I think I was trying to be some kind of self-serving hero which made me close myself off when really the largest part of my job is just to watch, listen y meterme con la gente. So now I have a new personal development goal of caring more about people, being more social, and stopped getting locked in my own head. Peace Corps just might make me a better person yet!

Garbage, garbage everywhere and no real place to put it

2010-05-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

Posing in front of the recycling tanks

¿Que sopá? There is a lot going down in the pueblo these days so I think it´s time for an update.

The recycling thing is off to a good start. There are problems but that´s ok. There is always an adjustment period. People are throwing straight up trash in the bins... shoes and whatnot, we have a bin for tetra-pak (milk and juice boxes) but the recycling center doesn´t accept tetra-pak, and we still need a committee to run the whole thing. At the meeting we had to present the project we had zero volunteers but, that´s how it goes. Panamanian culture in general does not have a big focus on volunteerism but, there are always exceptions. Tuesday I try again.

I spent a couple days with my homegirl on a nearby island to learn about turtles because there is talk of creating turtle guides in my town. There was a two day charla about how to identify and unobtrusively observe the tortugas. I´m super excited about the possibility of this project. I was talking with a community member on the bus ride over and she already has plans to seek support of the hotels in the area so maybe I can help guide that process if they want. In any case, it´s really important that people see that they can legally make money off of turtles without selling their eggs and wiping out the species. At this point, there have been enough visits from the maritime authority that people know if they take all the eggs, it will be only a few short years before there are no turtles on the beach. It´s not a lack of knowledge anymore. The people that still hunt for eggs do it because it´s part of their culture and they really don´t care if their grandchildren never see any sea turtles. It´s just not that important to them. Fair enough. A handful seem to do it because the resent the government telling them that they can´t. Mostly, though, it´s a lack of alternative. ARAP (the maritime authority) comes in in their air conditioned cars with their pretty powerpoints and tells the community to snitch on their family and neighbors they see stealing eggs, because there are no police or rangers to do the job themselves. And, then, to add injury to this insult, they never once mention a possible alternative. I hope that becoming a turtle guide for tourists might become a viable option.

Usually, egg hunting is hard work with little pay off. You´re out on the beach late at night (hiding from all those scary ColumbiMexi coke runners) getting DESTROYED by mosquitos, chitre, and sand fleas and even then sometime you come home with nothing to show for it. The problem is, on a good night an egg hunter can make about $40 or more which is way more than most families make in a week. It´s a gamble that some people really don´t mind, unfortunately.

It´s a really tough, polarizing issue but, I don´t blame people that look for eggs. I wish they wouldn´t but who am I to tell them they can´t. I´m not with the government. I´m not looking for enemies in my community and I don´t want people to think I´m going to rat them out. If there is anything I learned from living in Baltimore it´s "stop snitching". But anyway, it is my place to present alternatives. Tourists will pay lots of money to see these beautiful creatures and people won´t have to exterminate them to get money to feed your family. They won´t have to be out at all hours getting a haphazard blood transfusion from the bugs on the beach. Please wish us luck as my community members and I go down this scary, everyone-including-best-friends-might-hate-us path. It needs to be done and I´ll put my neck on the chopping block if I have to. If we do this well, it will be a huge boost to the economy and a huge leap forward in bringing the community together but, if we screw up we´ll have even more animocity and bruised egos than before. I don´t mean to get too dramatic but this is a potential minefield, albeit a necessary one. I´m scared. I´m psyched.

In other news, I´ve gotten involved in Peace Corps´ Gender and Development (GAD) group. I´m the new secretary. They do good work like give small donations to projects that have to do with gender or youth development and host a camp where kids can build self esteem and all that good stuff. I´ve volunteered with a group to help edit this super informative book, Vida Sana, Pueblo Sano (healthy life, healthy town). We´re going to update and clarify information from the old edition, especially the AIDS section. Sadly, Panamá has the second highest HIV-AIDS rates in centroamerica (with the new census they just took that rank may change) and a huge factor is cultural myth and lack of education. The book represents a good, neutral source of information on a wealth of issues that could be used by teachers or service providers to start the behavior change process. Most teachers are not permitted to touch on the sex education aspect but there are also many chapters on self-esteem and healthy choices in general so it can still be useful.

All in all these are exciting times.

And now for something completely different!

2010-05-19T21:51:00.000-07:00

Hi! Honestly, I'm writing more out of compulsion than having something to say so bear with me. First, I'll feed the beast and give y'all a Peace Corps update. I'm doing well but traveling a LOT, for me. I've been in Panama more in the last week than I have in the last year. The thing is, I've been taking care of my one year med check up and there was also a regional meeting. Plus, I'm trying to coordinate the recycling thing on the Las Tablas end so I've been on the road a little more than I'd like. My health is good. I've got a little ear thing to clear up but when do I NOT have a little ear thing to clear up. I mean, really.

Umm.... story I want to share: Recently a friend/ NGO leader asked me to invite some women from my community to a woman's empowerment meeting. It was focused on domestic abuse but I wasn't comfortable saying that outright. So, one of the women I invited seemed really excited. "Oh yeah! I'd like to go." THEN WHAT DOES SHE DO?!! ASKS HER HUSBAND IF SHE CAN GO! TO A WOMAN'S EMPOWERMENT MEETING! I laughed inside but, really, it's just the way life is. He's got the money so how can she take the bus if he doesn't give her the money to leave. He said she could go but, he seemed a little concerned. We'll see. The thing is people here, male and female, think their significant other will cheat on them if they ever leave the house. The truth is, just like in the US, people cheat... A LOT. It's just that in the campo, everybody hears about it right away. Not everyone is an adulterer but, it does happen, so I understood his concern. It's like they say in Arrested Development, "You gotta lock that down".

Ok, what I really want to talk about is music. Even though I'm working my butt off lately, I still have time to fill my nights with tunes, so I've been a little studious about my rock y roll lately. I've figured out why I can't get into Rock Latino. The stuff I've heard is way too processed. FINALLY! Cased closed. It bothered me that I didn't get it but now I feel better now that I think I know why. Compressed vocals, cymbals that sound like glass, guitars that sound like synths... not for me. I would never dismiss a whole genre but, at heart, I am a punk rock girl, so that belabored studio aesthetic isn't for me. Case closed. On the other hand, I kind of dig reggaeton for the exact same reason I dislike Rock Latino. If you hyper-process dance hall/hip-hop based music, it can sound AWESOME! My friends hipped me to Calle 13, a Puerto Rican group that I recommend to anyone who even remotely likes Latin or Hip Hop and doesn't mind lyrics that may or may not be ironically (or not) sexist/ homophobic. [I'm pretty good at Spanish now but the last thing one learns in a new language is humor and irony].

I've been thinking about what kind of band I'd like to start when I get back to the states. Lately, I've been listening to some classic stuff based in blues. T. Rex, Led Zeppelin, Nirvana, Lou Reed, and the Wig in a Box pseudo-soundtrack (not so classic and not so blues but in the same spirit). I want that. That feeling. That SINCERITY. I have no idea what's going on in music these days but when I left, I didn't see any sincerity in Baltimore at least. Even I'm guilty of it. I think I only wrote one sincere song in my old band and I apologize to the boys for that. I think I was trying to rip off the stuff I was listening to at the time and it came out very repressed and awkward. Also, I need to learn how to write riffs.

Messing around on a night much like this one, alone in a hotel room, I stumbled across an interview with Tori Amos about her cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit. I'm not a huge Tori fan but she said something that blew me away. She said that the most political songs have nothing to do with politics. She's right. Teen Spirit is a political song that doesn't want to be. But what really got me thinking was what she said next. She said, more or less, that in her version she wanted to tap into the male anger of the song and make it her own, i.e. express her FEMALE anger.

Wow.

I can't really think of many female artists who have effectively expressed female anger. Janice Joplin, Billie Holiday, and (of course) Tori Amos, even though she sounds like a cat on a hot tin roof, are key exceptions. In the old days, the breakup songs where written by men and were all about men. For me, and I acknowledge I'm being general and even maybe dismissive, the riot girl thing was mostly about copying men being angry. It was never their own. It was never real. To use examples, You Ain't Nothin' But A Hound Dog done by Willie Mae Thorton (and yes, it was written by men, and later co opted and made famous by a man) is more real than Doll Parts by Hole or I'm Just a Girl by No Doubt. I think female anger is something I'd like to start to attempt to express. I've never been good at breaking new ground but I least I have this idea in my head: tap into anger. Because, rock and roll should be angry or at least express some longing so why not express female longing. Female longing that has nothing to do with men. SCARED YOU DIDN'T I??!!! In other words, instead of writing about looking sexy on the dance floor or how much you want to hit and quit some dude in the club as means to facile empowerment or, alternatively, how all men have done you wrong just because they have a male appendage, maybe you write about love. Maybe you write about how intimidating child birth is. Maybe you write about being a wife. Maybe you write about being alive. You just write. Don't write as a woman, just write and be a woman.

Victory is ours!

2010-05-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

This past month has been crazy busy and I'm greatful for it. Next month looks like it will be filled with adventures and hard work too so I've got that to look forward to. Yesterday, I got some great news about our recycling project, all of the main infrastructure is in place, tanks and transportation, so now we are ready for phase two, which will be training a group to manage the project. There is already a fairly effective aquaduct committee so I hope we can just copy their structure and organization. This will probably be much more challenging than gathering the equipment but it is still such a huge relief that the project is ready to go. I do have one thought on my mind that concerns me though. The recycling center is a two hour drive from town so I'm not sure if the gas we are burning in transport is actually MORE harmful than the good of reusing material. If anyone knows how to do a cost/benefit analysis on this kind of stuff, let me know. In the big picture, I suppose it's better that we haul the trash. The town will be cleaner, we will no longer have to inhale burning plastic constantly when people burn trash, and there will be fewer cans and stuff to choke the fishies and turtles. I hope we're doing the right thing.

In other environmental news, I helped my counterpart with an Earth Day event in the school and, as always, it was totally insanity. We came up with a plan to show a movie about the beauty of nature and then do drawings and write little poems for the Earth. It should have been super fun but as soon as the movie went on the kids started running around and screaming... not talking in their seats, mind you, SCREAMING, so the few kids that were trying to watch the movie couldn't. It was a real shame. And even greater shame was that the teachers present did nothing to control the zoo. Nothing. So, like any good PC volunteer, I asked my counterpart if we could shift tactics and turn the movie off so we did. I invited the students to come to the Centro to do the drawings and read the Great Kapok Tree. It was great. The opposite of the school experience. Sometimes I feel like the school environment here is more damaging to learning than not going at all... given the attendance rate, the students feel the same way. People talk a big game about how important school is but nobody really enforces that sentiment with their kids. It's frustrating.

I was also a little frustrated with the tourism group here. I held a group organizing/ goal setting skills workshop and only three people showed up. I guess it's not so bad because I invited 20, hoped for 10, actually expected 5, so in the end 3/5 isn't so bad. They also showed up 1:30 late. But, even though I was frustrated with the turnout the even went well. They participated, seemed to have fun, and we all got to enjoy arroz con pollo. Everybody wins. I'm very interested in working with the tourism group but I think the bottom line is, the community is not interested right now, which is a shame because they are letting the extranjeros continue their stranglehold on the industry while they are missing out on opportunities. I get the sense they don't think they CAN have a part of the action, which is a belief I hope I can change.

Today I have two trainees coming to visit to see what the PC life is like. I'm excited to meet them and hope they have a good time. I think I'll introduce them to the English teacher and we'll do some more work on the recycling thing, stuff like that, and then for fun, hopefully surf. I tried surfing for the first time this month and it's a blast. I couldn't stand up but I caught a few waves. It's a real rush. I think surfing has the potential to become my favorite sport because there is no boring standing around. In baseball, you stand around until the ball comes. I do the same when I play soccer with the kids too (but that's cuz I'm too lazy to run after the ball). But surfing requires 100% focus, all the time. It's like that moment when you're under the ball waiting for it to come into your glove and nothing else matters, except it lasts longer. Right now, I'm not a strong enough swimmer but I'll get there. The second time I went the waves were pretty rough and I could barely stand up, much less take the board out.

Other than that there is not too much to tell. I've definitely settled into a rhythm and things are pretty smooth for the most part. To whoever's reading this, I'd love comments about how you're doing. I miss news from back home!

It's ok to eat fish because they don't have any feelings

2010-04-03T10:30:00.001-07:00

It's been almost a whole year since I've been in Panama. It's quite an accomplishment but I still feel pretty numb about it. The significance of it has yet to sink in and I feel like I am still struggling in some areas but in others I have made some pretty big strides. All in all it doesn't feel like a year has changed that much. I still wake up and go through a similar routine day in, day out. It does remind me, though, of how long it's been since I've been home and how much I miss my family and friends. There are still days when the complete lonliness and alienation makes everything seem impossible. Lucklily, those days are few and far between now. I'm really focusing on work now, but I need to get more comfortable getting people to work with me. My counterpart from Aguadulce is always ready and willing to help with whatever but my actual
community members aren't really interested in anything I have to offer unless it's an on-demand English class (meaning I will be at their beck and call all hours to teach them whenever they feel like it). My awesome volunteer friend from Colon came to visit and demonstrate how to build a vivero (seed planter thing) and absolutely no one but my counterpart showed up. I was hurt because people have been asking me about gardening and stuff. The thing is, I always end up taking it personally and blaming myself... maybe I didn't give enough notice, maybe I didn't explain what we were going to do well, maybe a semillero wasn't what they had in mind. It's a cycle in which I get angry at everyone here for not working, then turn it on myself for not being good at my job, then I feel guilty for being so angry all of the time, then sad because I think that maybe people don't approach me because I'm angry all of the time. Grr. But enough with the venting. Please excuse it, I'm just trying to share the real experience of being a volunteer, good and challenging. It helps to put myself in the community's shoes. If I were them I would ignore the gringa and lay in a hammock too. Absolutely I would. So I need to let it go. That doesn't help how it makes me look to the office though but that's a whole other can of worms.

The last volunteers built an events hall and a playground, two huge projects, and I just can't for the life of me see how they coordinated that. I wish I could talk to them for advice. I always go back to thinking that I don't "get out there" enough. I have defintely come out of my shell with my volunteer friends, my counterpart, and my tutee, but not the community in general. Maybe I'm afraid of seeming unprofessional. I just wish they knew I have a sense of humor. I could probably get more done if they knew.

But, with the things I have planned for after Semana Santa people should start to see me as a resource, I hope. I'm doing two teacher trainings, one with counterpart (but he's already on team Peace Corps) and the new English teacher who seems amazing. I framed it as an observation period followed by a presentation of the methodology the embassy trained us in so I should definitely learn a thing or two from her as well. I'm also hoping to do a group building training with the tourism coop and while the government agency for coops (IPACOOP) loves me for trying to do this, the community members in charge could care less. Even more, I think the leaders I've been trying to get interested may actually dislike me. At the very least they look at me like I'm a mentally challenged iguana with one leg sawed off. Maybe I'm paranoid but they try their hardest to talk about anything BUT this training I want to do. You can try to get people to work smarter but you can't force them. The recycling project is chugging along and we have all the letters and project description hand outs to get started. Now we just need community and government support.

I've had a few adventures since I wrote last. I visited Aguadulce with my counterpart. It was pretty cool and his mom made good food. Where he lives is as suburban as it gets for Panama which was an interesting contrast. Really my favorite thing was just talking music with him and his buddy Carlos. Carlos is a Nirvana obsessed rocker and my counterpart is into to pretty much all forms of rock/ indie. I hipped them to Yo La Tengo and they layed some Cien Fue on me. It was really good stuff. This one song "Somos Terroristas" got in my head fast (in a good way). They inspired me to listen to some Led Zeppelin. I've been meaning to listen to more rock to understand Walt's songwriting better and now I'm finally getting around to it. To balance that out my friend from Colon let me burn her new Vampire Weekend album, which I liked a lot. It's kind of like they perfected what they were trying to go for in the first one and now they sound less like ripping off Graceland and more like they have their own sound. It's a little hard for me to admit I like a band that has songs called "horchata" (which includes the word "balaklava" by the way... and they're not European), and "Oxford Comma", and "Campus" but they are on to something. I guess it's redeeming that they wear their hipness on their sweater sleeves.
I also listened to Nevermind again after years and years and it was like hearing it for the first time. I think it's time that bands got loud again. The whole pop church choir, string quartet thing is cool but probably about to run it's course. The thing that the alterna-rockers never got was that what made that album interesting wasn't the whining... (in fact, that the lyrics don't really make enough narrative sense to whine saves it) it's the controled catharsis. It's turning the guitars up way too loud, beating the drums too hard, and screaming your melody. It's the tension between the feedback and the melody. Anyway, it was nice to enjoy the record out of the context of the hype and could shake the image of Saint Cobain and simply say, "that boy was a fine songwriter. Cheers". What else...? The water has been on for only a few minutes a day lately and it killed most of the vegetables I planted. It never rains in this part of Panama in the summer you see so I need to water them. That was sad. Oh well... when the rain comes, we'll start again. This week is Semana Santa so HOARDS of people, literal busloads, have decended on the beach here. I have never seen so many cars on our little road. People celebrate Easter time here by going on vacations and drinking a lot. It's way different than back home. Nary a chocolate egg in sight. It's funny because it's illegal to sell alcohol on Friday and Saturday of the week but people just stock up before hand. Seems like a silly law since people just "pre-buy" the hooch. Last week my visitor from Colon and some local volunteer buddies went to a feria nearby. There
were all kinds of craft tents and food stalls and even a carnival! We went on the bumper cars. I wanted to crash into this kid from my community who is always really obnoxious to me but he got off right before we got on. There was even a PH (pretty sure I explained what that is in the last post). Tons of my community members were there and our dance group performed. We
watched some cow wrangling games and one of my friend's teams whooped up on my town's team. Sad. He also bought a belt buckle that had a lighter built into that said "Tupac". It was the greatest thing I've ever seen. MY other buddy finally got herself a Panama hat! She was doubtful but I hope by now she has learned to love it. And then unfortunately my friend from Colon lost
her wallet and camera at the PH. Luckily, she said there wasn't much in the wallet and that she had a good time anyway. I would hate for her to walk away with a bad impression of the Azuero because of that. Other than that, there is not much to tell. I'm thinking of going to a baseball game tomorrow but am not sure I should spend the money getting there. We'll see!

We can't stop here. This is bat country.

2010-02-19T07:09:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I posted because this month has been pretty busy. I was out of site for the first two weeks for seminars. The first was a TEFL conference all the way in Changinola, Bocas del Toro. The idea was that volunteers from my sector would take teachers from our communities to be trained in the SIOP model, which is basically a system for making sure your classes and super interactive, built on previous lessons, and offer stronger students a chance to help those who need more time to catch the lesson. I didn't have a teacher to take because the English teacher here lives outside the community and speaks no English. This is a pretty common problem, especially in the campo. Since the seminar was in English, she would have spent 12 hours on a bus for nothing. I did, however, get to work with some great English teachers and brush up on my own understanding of SIOP. I even met a teacher from my province and we had an English/Spanish bad word exchange. It was pretty silly and now I know that a lot of the shouting from the cantinas is just cursing. I'm so glad I made the trip. I learned a lot and it was so heartening to see teachers open and receptive to new ideas. I'd like to put together a training for the High School teachers in town nearby but it would probably have to be in Spanish. We have agency meetings coming up so I'll see what's up with the ministry of education to see how feasible it is.

It was also pretty cool to see another part of Panama. I've been to Bocas once for my volunteer site visit but never to Changinola. I was surprised at how different it is from Los Santos. Our capital of Las Tablas is an attempt at a Spanish pueblo. It is centered around a cathedral and a plaza. A lot of the buildings have a Spanish flavor but Changinola is much more Carribean. The colors are wacky blues, pinks, and yellows instead of Mediterranean tones. Plus it was green and all the trees didn't look dead. Around here everything is dry grassland now but over there it's relatively jungle like. I even took a walk through a Chiquita Banana plantation and got crop dusted with pesticides! Another difference is that there are way, way more Ngobes (Don't think I've ever seen any in Las Tablas) so culturally, people are a little more reserved on the street yet more likely to hit you up for spare change.

After that I met up with my new counterpart and headed off to PML (Project Management Leadership). This was another great seminar on leadership and running groups. For me, it was invaluable because we came away with a game-plan for starting an environmental group here. Counterpart even came up with a great logo. I can't really put into words here how good it feels to have a plan after trying to nail down specifics with campesinos (who are allergic to specifics) for so long. For the first time in my service I feel like I have control.

On a personal level, it was cool to get to know Counterpart. I feel like we could call each other friends now which is nice because I still feel like I don't have many friends in site. Maybe it's more accurate to say I don't have friends I have anything in common with but Counterpart and I like similar music (a FIRST here in Panama!) and he is dedicated to starting a project so we can talak about that. Sometimes I just run out of things to say to say to my campesinos. We both know it's hot... We both know it hasn't rained in months... My family's fine, thanks. Anyway, it's just refreshing.

The only bummer was that my ear infection I've been fighting on and off since November came back with a vengeance. I got super dizzy and had to miss the last half of the final day because it was too much work to stay vertical. The next day I headed to Chitre to meet my buddies for carnival so I stopped in at the doctor before they all showed up. I got my very first shot in butt. I have to admit, it was the most painful, most sore-making shot I've had in memory. Way worse than tetanus. The nurse was down there for a good 7 seconds which is an eternity when you can feel medication forcing its way into your rump. It was worth it though because my ear stopped pussing pretty quickly. Right now I'm on antibiotics that make me exhausted all the time but It'll be over soon. I'd been pretty healthy for a while so I guess it was time for a crash. Panama catches up with you.

But way more interesting than my little boo-boo is carnival! This guy from Miami who owns a hostel in Chitre left my friend in charge of the building so we turned it into a Peace Corps club house. We had water balloons, a kiddie pool on the roof, and even a megaphone! So, how carnival works is that they have street food EVERYWHERE! Yum. They bring in trucks of river water to hose people down (the mojadera) and play loud music all day and night. There are also floats of gay dudes... I guess carnival is the only time they can be openly fabulous in this machismo culture... and of course there is... the REINA! All feathers and sequins. There is something magical about it.

We had a good time apart from the fact that I got peed on and two of my buddies got robbed. Apparently, it's custom to pee your pants at carnival because there are so few bathrooms and you're getting hosed down anyway. Well, this dude let loose while my foot was nearby. As for the robberies, it wasn't so bad considering we were almost all gringos, or would be mistaken for gringos by Panamanians. It could have been a lot worse seeing as we're just giant targets. But, nothing was lost that can't be replaced and although my friends were annoyed, they remained unflappable.

So now I'm back in site ready to work but my community isn't. Apparently carnival isn't enough so I have to wait until "carnivalito" is over this weekend to pick up tutoring and work on the group. I'm thinking I should give up work ethic for Lent...

Back in the U S of A!

2010-01-11T07:03:00.000-08:00

My vacation home for the holidays went too fast but it was wonderful. I didn't get to see all the people I wanted to but I did my best given the limited time and I am pretty pleased. Even though there was two feet of snow on the ground my heart was warm and toasty being around my loved ones. (Yeah, I said it. Cheeeeeeze). I suppose it hadn't been that long compared with how long some PC volunteers wait to go home but I was still overwhelmed and sniveling with joy when the plane touched down. Then I was in full on tears when I saw my mom and boyfriend who had come to pick me up. It's hard to describe that pure joy of suddenly being surround by people you love and love you after being an alien for 7 months. There is rush of belonging and understanding. All of a sudden everything around makes sense. You know why people are acting the way they are. Order is restored in your little world.

I never thought I'd say this, but the thing I missed most about the US apart from mi gente is convenience. You want hot water? BAM! You want to call someone? BAM! You want to find your favorite chocolate bar? BAM! It's at the store. It is utterly amazing how fast and easily things happen. It is pretty easy to adjust to having a grocery store trip take all day but it is so much nicer when it doesn't.

The only bad thing is that my bag got lost on the way back. The airport thinks that a woman who left a very similar bag probably took mine. I'm doubtful though because why would she leave her bag there for week while she carting around mine? She likes my clothes better maybe? I don't know. The whole thing is suspicious and really inconvient. I even brought home my sheets to wash them and they were in the bag so now I'm sleeping on a filthy bare mattress.

Filth is also taking some getting used to. I'm not a neat freak but I came home to a house full of roach and lizard poop and my water has been running on a trickle or not at all so it's been difficult to make the place liveable again. I swear the roaches launched a colonization campaign while I was gone. I haven't seen this many before but I'm hoping the spray will do the trick.

I started my English tutoring classes yesterday and one household decided to go to a party during scheduled class time and didn't inform me. Big surprise there. And at the other class I only had to wait an hour for the girl to show. Not so bad. The class itself went pretty well. This morning the representate asked me for classes! I would really like to open up some sort of relationship with the dude because theoretically he can help me get stuff done but we'll see how it all pans out.

I hope everyone had great holidays!

JUNTA!!!

2009-12-14T07:47:00.000-08:00

December is the time of the Junta de Arroz, which could be Panama's greatest gift to the world. Unfortunately, the rest of the world just hasn't caught on yet. Check this out, cutting rice is hot, boring work so what do the Panamanians do? Turn it into a party! Get your buddies to come get drunk in a field with you while you cut and then have the ladies prepare you some tasty goodness for when you finish. The best part (to my mind) is, people work for free because they know that the guy who owns the farm is going to come cut HIS OWN rice the next week. It's so beautiful. If more things in life could be this way... just people helping each other until the job is done... the world would be a better place.

I haven't actually BEEN to a junta yet because every - single - freaking - time I get invited, something comes up. Ah well... that's just how it goes here. I actually got lost the last time, no easy task where there is really only one road in town, then got sidetracked helping my counterpart in the vivero. I tried to go but on the way back I saw the guys leaving so I knew I had missed it. The community knows I want to learn how to cut so they'll let me know. They seem excited about me joining in, or maybe they just would like the novelty of a female in the finca. I think that being a girl is a plus for this, actually. I won't be forced to drink and I won't be made fun of if I don't work very hard! Unfortunately, I think the arroz is just about cortado all over town but well see if I can help out.

Thanksgiving-type thoughts...

2009-12-09T09:47:00.000-08:00

MAKING DIA DE MADRES CARDS!!!

Things are pretty good here these days, in general. I finally feel like I'm starting to adjust to a more Panamanian way of life and what's even better is that I've got some ideas for work to do so I don't have to feel like I'm sitting on my butt all the time. I keep a list of project ideas now and while most of them will come to nothing, it helps keep me focused. Here's what's going on:

1. Work on the vivero to sell plants to support the maintenance of the Centro. (This is a really tough one because my counterpart works in construction so he's gone a lot. Also ANAM can't help when you want to sell the trees. I'm not really clear on the project yet but this group is the one that requested Peace Corps so I'm going to keep at this.)

2. Get a bathroom built in the school. (I'm starting with this one because there is already a plan so it's relatively easy. It's just a matter of coordination and fundraising. Still, something like this could take the whole two years.)

3. Get INADEH to come give a tourism course for the new tourism group.

4. Get a guide in Cero Hoya park. (Probably not going to happen because the guy that came in for ANAM with the new government doesn't really seem into the idea. Que va.)

5. Make signs for the park.

6. Put internet in the Centro. (The kids always come in to play with my computer so if there were internet that would be a huge fundraiser for this place.)

7. Tutoring program. (This is the only definite. I start in January.)

8. Start an English pen pal program with La Zapatosa school when the new school year starts.

9. Create a youth service group… kinda like co-ed boy scouts I guess… I need to think this one out more but the kids really need something to do and a few of them need serious encouragement in being good citizens.

10.Share some "best practices" with the teachers. (I have to do this carefully so I don't come off like some inexperienced snot telling these people who have taught longer than I've been alive what to do. They really do need help though. The teachers teach two classes a piece at once! I think that's the source of a lot of challenges.)

I'm writing this on día de madres which is a huge deal here unlike in the states. However, due to lack of planning and political backbiting there is no celebration this year in my site. I teamed up with an artist extranjera de canadá to host a card making event for the people though. It went pretty well I thought although my friend said it was a pretty small turn out. We were competing with a party for the Reina here AND the Reina in Tonosí though so considering that, I was impressed. [People host these parties to fund the campaign of the Reina, who is kind of like a prom queen but bigger… much bigger. They sell glossy photos of themselves and people vote for them during Carnival.]

On a mental health level, I know I'm starting to adjust because I wasn't miserable at the party for the Reina. I live next-door to the Salon de Eventos so when there is a fiesta there, it is going on at my house as well. The kids come over to play and I have to keep my bathroom open because there isn't one in the Salon, people use my electricity and water, which I pay for… basically I'm always helping at the fiestas whether I feel like it or not. This used to annoy me massively. So… sometime during the night someone dumped my shampoo and filled the bottle with water and I wasn't even really that mad! THAT'S how I know I'm starting to not sweat the small stuff. My expectations are become more in line with Panamanian life and behavior. OF COURSE some kid is going to steal my shampoo if I leave it in the bathroom… or maybe it was some drunk guys that thought it was hand soap… it doesn't matter. The point is I'm starting to expect things like that to happen and when you expect something like that it doesn't get under your skin. Same goes for people throwing trash in the vivero. Same goes for the used toilet paper on the floor. I've been here long enough to know that if I didn't want to pick up poopy paper, I should have provided a trash bag. So what right do I have to be upset? It took me a while but I'm starting to see things from a slightly more campesina view.

I've been visiting with a lot more people now as well, which helps adjustment. I realized that my initial shyness definitely makes me a horrible volunteer so I'm working on that. It's my biggest challenge I think. I need to relearn the way I've lived my entire life for at least the last fifteen years. Honestly, I spent most of my adolescence when I wasn't at school watching television, reading books, or listening to music... and now all of the sudden I'm supposed to be a social butterfly? But that's the Panamanian life. You’re rude if you don’t drop in on people, eat their food, and talk about other people. Everything my momma taught me about being respectful is turned on its head here. I was raised right but raised right for an American and, quite frankly, to be a good Panamanian I need to do things I was taught were disrespectful. This is the biggest challenge in part because it’s something the community absolutely cannot understand. They have no way of knowing what that value shift is like. They have no context for it so they just think I'm depressed or weird or not as fun as the last volunteer. Now that all this is clear to me I can start to make little changes like setting a pasear quota for the day and stuff like that.

This turned out to be more of a diary entry than I intended so I hope you'll excuse the indulgence. In other news, Thanksgiving was great. I opted not to go to the official PC event in order to join a smaller group that went to Las Lajas. Maybe I'll spring for the main event next year. I had some awesome German food though. No turkey. I guess that makes sense because there are a lot of German cultural trappings in the US and it was almost the official language and… ok… I'm stretching it. But we had fun. It gave me a moment to think about really how thankful I am for the friends I've made here. Right before T day, we had our in service training which was GREAT! It motivated more than anything in my service so far. It was led by a lady who graduated from U of Maryland in Linguistics. My future mentor maybe? She dropped some serious teaching science on us and I finally feel prepared to start up the classes again after my trip home for the holidays.

It's been a while since I've heard from a lot of you punks so go ahead and comment letting me know what's going on in your world por favor.

Nuevo Bicho

2009-11-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

Randy aka Tiburon

I got a doggie! My community guide and her son left town for Las Tablas weeks ago so they left him to die. He was sick so she probably thought he'd be worm feed by now. (Well... he still is technically, the de-wormer I gave him is still working). Anyway, I was passing by where she used to live and he comes running out to me crying and jumping on me. He remembers me from living at the house and pasearing there, I'm sure. He looks like a total wreck, has snot dripping down his eyes and looks like a twig so even though I wasn't planning on having an extra mouth to feed, I took pity on him. My buddy Mario helped me wash him with some anti-flea soap and picked the DOZENS AND DOZENS of ticks off him. I have never been so greatful for help in my life. I really don't like killing ticks. It's tedious and gross. Afterwards, I cooked the pup some rice. What else could I do? Now, a couple days and a few bowls of Pedigree (that's the generic name for dog food here... I think that's cute) later, he's too spoiled to eat rice anymore. What kind of Panamanian dog turns down rice? Thinks he's an aristocrat apparently...

I'm not going to lie, he's pretty much the ugliest dog I've ever seen. His mouth can't close all the way because he has and extreme overbite, he's scarred from fights and insects, and he's eyes drip goo. I don't pet him much now because I'm waiting for the parasites to clear out but he still wags his tail nonstop at me. He is already such a different animal then when I found him. I don't now much about dog psychology but I think he just needed to feel part of a pack again. And I'm sure having food in his belly for the first time in weeks didn't hurt either.

Because of how Panamanians raise up dogs he's already really well behaved. The only thing is he jumps up on people to greet them. I'm working on that. I used to be upset when Panamanians beat their dogs but now that I've seen how effective it is, I am kind of a fan. I feel weird about saying this but I have to admit, it works. I don't think I'll ever get a dog in the states but if I do, it might have to get smacked once or twice.

Other than this, there isn't too much going on. The new ANAM guy seems a little more aproachable than the old one so hopefully we'll find some work to do. I've been interviewing the teachers for In Service Training this weekend and I'm getting a lot of great information. I have to hand it to Peace Corps, just when it starts to seem like they ask us to do ridiculous assaigments that don't seem to make sense, all of a sudden the master plan becomes clear when you finish. I'm really looking forward to heading to Panama this weekend and coming back to site ready to work!

Back to the drawing board

2009-11-11T07:59:00.000-08:00

So after much deliberation I decided to cancel my English Club after the 2nd class of absolutely no one showing up, the forth of three people or less showing. It wasn't even raining! I felt a little insulted because this was the class after our big movie night, where I showed Watchmen and gave everybody popcorn and soda and we all had a good time. We were supposed to talk about the movie and what it can tell us about American culture but no one showed. I'm trying to learn from my mistakes but I can't think for the life of me what kept people from the class besides shear laziness. They aprovechar of the fun stuff we do but they don't want to do the work and think about anything. I think this is illustrated perfectly by the fact that people don't say "Estoy preocupado" which is the dictionary Spanish way to say "I'm worried". Instead they say "Estoy pensado" here, which is dictionary for "I am thinking". Thinking is bad. Thinking is worrying. So let's just eat all the damn popcorn and never do our assignments.

So instead, and I want to run this by El Jefe first so the kids will have to wait until the end of the month, I want to start a turtoring program. I want to go house to house at assigned times. I'm hoping this will reduce abscences and distractions. Truth be told, at the movie night it became apparent to me that the kids use my class to meet up with their little girlfriends safe far from parental or bochinchoso eyes. This explains why they were always leaving the room randomly without permission. They wanted to flirt in privacy.

I think going house to house will be a great step in the right direction, it will get me pasearing more, it will allow me to vary the classes according to English skills. The club had nine through seventeen year olds which was problematic in this regard.

The other news is that someone stole the propane tank and a garden tool from the school. Who does that? Jeez. The police are actually involved now which is a big deal considering that the nearest station is 30 to 45 minutes away. I hope they find the dude that did it but I highly doubt anything will come of the investigation.

What else... I've started mingling more with the extranjeros. Met a Spaniard and his French wife. Met an American/Canadian who is really interested in helping the community. We'll see what happens. I'm tired of taking baby steps but look at what happened when I just jumped into teaching English. It was a waste of two months of my time and now I'm back where I started. I know I sound like I'm ranting but I'm actually in a good mood. I'm just poking a little fun at myself really. I spent all day at the beach with my best buddies in town and then I introduced them to the glory that is Goodfellas. So I have no complaints. I'm even proud of being so quick to dust myself off and plan out this tutoring thing, which I'm sure will have it's own challenges. Also, there is a new ANAM guy I need to introduce myself to so I hope he will be able to help with the vivero thing. I'm not going to let myself get choked out. I am human too and want some dignity. I think you can agree with that, right?

Caroline demands a post and I say "How long?"

2009-10-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

So I do feel like I should say something on this blog but I don't know what. (Haven't I started the last three posts like that now?) I'm just gonna ramble. There has been a long going on is some ways and absolutely nothing going on in others. I went to Panama for a long weekend to chill with my Peace Corps buddies. It's always amazing to me how PC lets you spend time such a wide range of personalites and that always leads to good time. I spent too much money but it was all worth it. I spent a day's pay on a book. WOOT! I saw Inglorious Basterds and it was great. Killing Nazis for 2hrs plus? YES PLEASE! Also, I ATE A BAGEL!!! AND INDIAN FOOD!!! It was really overwhelming to be around that much light and sound after being in the campo so long. I felt shell shocked but in a good way. There were a few funny stories that came out of it but I don't want to waste your time here. I'm sure it'll all come out eventually. Ask me.

So I was glad to be back in site and rock out a good English Club class even though I was super tired. The numbers for the English Club have plummited but I think that's a good thing. The kids that just come to play with the furniture or flirt with the girls don't show up as often now.

Saturday we had a big party and it was pretty cool. Though, I did lose my cool with this one old dude who would not leave me alone and I started cursing at him in English. I know that it's just a cultural difference but it gets under my skin when a man is that much of a pest and don't take "leave me alone" for an answer. I like almost everyone in my community but when there is a fiesta and the guys are all drunk and clingy it creates an illusion of danger and I get super testy. BUT! on the bright side this one woman started talking to the viejo for me saying "You have to respect her" and such. The whole time she was acting like I were her child (in a good way) and it was really comforting to know that someone has my back. The early hours of the fiesta were really great. There was a parade and singing. It was to celebrate campesino culture so there was dancing, polleras, tamborito and all that stuff I am fond of. And hojaldres. God I love hojaldres.

Honestly, today I'm a little down because I really need to have work to do. I have way too much time to sit and think about all the choices I've made in my life and the choices of humanity in general and if we have HAVE choices and so on that it's making me a little nuts. Plus, I've been taking a crack at reading the Bible again and that always puts me on edge. Divine justice does not look kindly on idle hands. And what does it mean that I favor justice over compassion these days?

TANGENT ABOUT JUSTICE: So I bought a copy of Che, the Benicio Del Toro flick, and while I haven't decided whether or not it's a good movie yet (leaning toward no), I give them mad props for showing El Comandante actually ordering an execution! He's always held up as such a martyr of struggle (Don't you know the man had crippling asthma!), justice and enlightened revolution that people forget that he was a soldier who went around Latin America killing people. Those were his actions. He gave people hope, gave good speeches, and wrote heart wrenchingly about the plight of the landless but really, in the end, he popped caps in people. So when does murder become justice? When it is defended with a myth, or something bigger? When you can say that it's for God? Or for the People? Or for the State? Being here in Central America is rekindling my interest in Che but definitely changing the questions I ask about his life and work.

Anyway... I've been three days with no water either so that's also bumming me out. Not the end of the world but irritating nonetheless. They always say that your service is what you make it and maybe I haven't been trying hard enough. Or maybe that's just the protestant culture that I carry.

Screw it, BAILAMOS!

Panama Firsts

2009-09-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

WALT, THIS IS FOR YOU!!!

Things I Had Never Done Before Peace Corps (besides the normal speak Spanish/ meet Panamanians type stuff)

Eaten a turtle egg
Made hojaldres! YUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!
Been so excited to eat fresh black pepper. This actually goes for a lot of foods. MUSTARD!!! HONEY!!! BREAD!!!
Been so hungry that I didn't mind fake yellow cheese
Had someone offer to buy Maria cookies off of me
Seen that my cereal was crawling with ants but eating it anyway, after trying to sift them out, of course
Seen a cock fight
Seen a rodeo
Showered in a sink
Showered outside with a bucket in the dark but still in plain view of the Ngobe community
Desperately pooped behind a tree on the beach then wiped with my Spanish workbook
(In a related first) almost od'ed on antibiotics because the doc didn't say I should take each course separately
Been pooped on by a lizard
Been bitten by an iguana
Enjoyed being at a dance club
Had to wait by the side of the road for a good long minute because a herd of cows were passing
Played hand drums while we all jammed some tamborito tunes
Waded through calf deep swamp muck just because I was curious about where the path went to
Had so many 8 to 13 year old male friends... well... really they just like the SNES games on my computer
Swam in the Caribbean and the Pacific within the same month or so
Had bug bites on my privates

Moving Day!

2009-09-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

We lost another good one but at least there is a nice picture of her eating some dreds.

TREE OF LIFE!

So I'm slowing moving my way into my new house/ office. Almost everything was set from the beginning which was great but I have to buy kitchen stuff and things like that. I need to buy gas for the stove because it was supposedly jacked by the people who administered the building last. Hmm... I'm really excited to have a place to sort of call my own.

I'm teaching a lot of classes and running an "English Club" at nights. It's essentially another class because people are too pena-ed to participate but we do more fun stuff like translate "A Change is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke. Awww yeah. I used it to talk a little about American history and racism and stuff but nobody looked too interested. I need to get the hang of making stuff seem important. I'd like to blame my students and say they don't care but a good teacher can make anyone care about anything. ANYhow, I'm looking forward to putting a more cultural aspect on the English Club. As far as my classes at the school go, I'm hanging on. About half the kids seem to have attention/discipline problems so it means that the others can't learn even if they wanted to. If I hear the phrase, "Mire que el me pego!" one more time I might flip. At first I thought it was a cultural thing... in Peace Corps you try to develop different (sometimes lower, sometimes higher) standards for host country behavior... but then I did a guest teach in a neighboring town and the kids were so GOOD! Nobody even talked over me. I got through my hour long pronunciation lesson without ONE hitch, without anyone grabbing my stomach telling me to give a drawing assignment, without anyone just walking out of the room, without anyone hitting anyone else! My mind was blown. I'd like to sit down and figure out why my students are having so much difficulty paying mind but I think it's beyond little old me. They're great kids, I just don't have the chops yet to maintain a positive learning environment.

Well... That's about all that's on my mind. I'll leave you with some Spanish phrases I really like now.

Echar cuenta - to toss stories - to chat
Echar arroz - to toss rice - to serve food
necio - means bratty as far as I can tell
Acha? la vida, or my favorite, Acha la - Oh drat!
Estamos refrescando - we are refreshing - we are drinking beer

My favorite of all time: WAH! This versitile interjection is used to express joy, displeasure, anguish, surprise, anger EVERYTHING. It's wonderfully useful.

and one that gets on my nerves:
Mire que - kinda like lookit! It only is annoying because my studest always use it to preface telling me that someone is being necio.

I run on ritz crackers and nasal decongestant!

2009-09-02T10:43:00.000-07:00

Im not really sure what to say here but I want to say something because a lot is going on here, but not all of it is good so part of me wants to just keep my mouth shut. Its not like you want to listen to me whine anyway right, internet? Too bad for you because Im at an internet joint with time to kill.

I started teaching in the school. Thats going ok. Im a horrible teacher but, hey, no one is Joe Dimagio when they first pick up the ball. To my credit, Ive discovered I can change a lesson plan mid class and not miss a beat. This is really important because most of the kids I teach would sadly be labeled ADD back home. Theyre just being kids. The English teacher Im supposed to be supporting stares daggers at me everytime I ask to look at her lesson plans so I know what to teach the Thursday and Friday, the days she teaches elswhere. I really dont know what to do to break the ice really. She doesnt live in the community most of the time so I cant really pasear and get to know her. Im kind of at a loss. I started teaching night classes for the high school kids and adults. I had one adult show who can only attend once a week because hes in the finca. Two very bright kids from the high school and of course, tons of kids from the elementary school. DONT SEND ME YOUR KIDS WHEN IM ALREADY TEACHING THEM IN THE DAY! That was the whole point. It was lost. We are supposed to do more advance stuff here so if that means working intensely with the two high schoolers then so be it. I got the free time for it. Im at a loss here too. I dont want to have to tell those young kids that they arent ready for the material I want to cover but on the other hand its not fair to hold back the rockstars. Conjugate some verbs and then get back to me.

The tree selling project is at a stall. I want to make a work calendar to keep us on track. I hope that occurs.

On the personal front I did a very stupid thing and hung out with my hosts boyfriend when she wasnt there. In my defense she left me alone in the house, I was bored, and he was offering a showing of Slumdog Millionaire in English. I couldnt really refuse. Furthermore, we went to find her and invite her, and we did find her at her daughters boyfriends place, but she ran into the back room. Her daughter lied and said she wasnt there. We all saw her run so it was really awkward and we collectively said "screw it" and went to watch the movie. So for the past half of this week Ive been dealing with fall out of this situation, crying and feeling guilty about absolutely nothing, feeling paranoid... all that good stuff. My host and I talked it out and came to the conclusion that all parties share some guilt. She was CONSTANTLY finding excuse to leave me and the boyfriend alone and then being pissed about it later. For my part, I should have broke off the friendship and hidden at home alone because people dont believe men and women can just be friends here. (Ill admit that the situation wouldnt look very good on the surface in the states either). So, after talking and even HUGGING IT OUT!!! (my first Panamanian hug! Weve had problems, but I love my host) now things are getting back on the up and up. Im living with a new family anyway just because I switch every month. Its a pretty nice pad even though my student slash roomate cant stop rolling around on the top of the bunkbed. Hes a kicker!

The other issue thats come up is drugs. I was told that drug runners use my beach as a stop off point and then go on their merry way. This is not the whole truth. Some of the famers in the surrounding communities actually produce drugs and are affiliated with international shippers. I was really annoyed about this. Last weekend some folks nearby (not IN my community mind you) found about a pound of cocaine packed in those giant pixie stick wrappers on the beach. People say that Panamanians are anti drug in general. I have found this to be true for most. But not the guys that found the package. The friend who told me the story about all this was offered a pixie stick while disfrutaring in a cantina. Cantinas are bad enough I dont want to imagine one fueled by coke. This, coupled with the misunderstanding about the movie night, has made me really paranoid. Im terrified of people all jacked up, swinging machetes. Im terrified of bochinche being spread to get back at me for something I would never do. Im scared. High school level paranoia for those that new me back then. I dont know who to trust here. Somedays it feels like no one. Itll pass. Itll have to. Right now, Im just throwing myself into work for the classes, reading a lot, and not talking to anyone. I have Twin Peaks to watch on my computer but I just found out that its broken. Need the windows disk. Otherwise Id be watching that too. I need to keep a low profile for a while which is very much impossible here.

I really feel like Im this fount of negativity on this blog but at the same time I dont want to lie about the Peace Corps experience. We all have it rough. Today I found out another friend is leaving. She had stuff line up nicely back home so thats where shes going.

Ill end with this. I really like working with kids. They are hilarious. Even when they are laughing at me. ESPECIALLY when they are laughing at me. Now if the adults gave a rats patoot about the work wed be on our way.

And she said Ooh I'd do anything for you 'cause you're a ROCKER!

2009-08-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

I´ve noticed recently that now that I don´t get to listen to my music all the time like I do back home, I appreciate it more. Nobody really listens to good ole rock and roll here. It´s almost always tipico with some salsa or club jams thrown in every once in a while. It´s good stuff for sure, but definitely not what I´m used to, coming from a blues tradition. Now that I´m starting to make sense of the Panamanian beats and getting into that, my own tunes seem urgent again, like good rock or hip-hop or blues should. Electric guitar sounds dangerous when compared to the tipico accordion!

There is a desperation to rock that tipico doesn´t have. Even when the lyrics are about desperation itself, losing a mujer usually, the songs just sound sad, not impassioned. I´m not saying that tipico is emotionless, in fact, the gritar can be very emotive. I think the bottom line is that, in the songs I´ve heard, tipico is afraid to be ugly. Apart from gritaring there is very rarely anything dissonant or uneasy about the rhythms or melody, which makes sense considering it´s dance music. You can´t change up the rhythm too much when people are trying to dance to it. I had a bunch of Radiohead songs come on my music player and they serve as a perfect example. What makes most of their songs so interesting is that they give you something really pretty to hook your ear but then the rhythms and melody always sound like they are about to fall apart but they never do. I´ve missed that tension.

On the other end of the spectrum, I´ve missed the swagger of old school rock. T-Rex, Thin Lizzy, and Immortal Technique all drove that home for me. They make themselves sound dangerous not so much because of tension but because of pure attitude. Tipico definitely has a difference attitude, a different worldview. Tipico is about keeping tradition and the past alive and strong while rock is about punching it in the face. Both very important projects.

Well, thanks for putting up with that. Let´s talk about work. I had a general "so what do you want Peace Corps to do for you" meeting since I last wrote. Way more people showed that I thought they would. 21. Wah! Nothing too surprise came up, people are scared (with good reason) that investors are going to steal all their land. People say they REALLY want English classes. Looks like I´ll be actually IN a classroom about 16 hours a week. With the time I need for planning lessons I´m not sure if that´s asking too much or not. Doesn´t sound like it but on the other hand I´m not here to teach full time. We´ll see how it plays out. I´m very excited to have something to keep me busy.

I thought I had killed all the trees we want to sell for the vivero but they are recovering from being transplanted. The worm compost idea went over well so that´s another thing to wark towards. The last thing that came up was and artisan´s group. I´m not really sure who all wants to do that yet. We´ll see.

When do I get to go home?

2009-07-29T10:47:00.000-07:00

Let me preface by saying that I have hit one of the natural low points of Peace Corps service. This post is going to be on the negative side but I think it´s only fair to take the downs with the ups. Besides, today, I´m pretty upset so I could be a lot more negative.

This week has been nuts. First off, I think my community guide thinks I´m trying to steal her boyfriend. I´m big enough to admit that this is my fault because I went to a cock fight with him and probably shouldn´t have, knowing how jealous she is. I should have respected that. I really wanted to speak some English though and see what cock fights are all about. (They are pretty horrible by the way but it was a good cultural experience. At least if the loser dies it gets eaten... more human than KFC.) We talked a while the next day and at first I got vibes that she was upset but as we talked I think she was more upset about things not going well with him in general and her daughter got hurt on a horse so she was worried about that.

Then yesterday I woke up with a 103 fever and the worst diarrhea of my life. When I get fevers I can´t really think straight so I just kept tossing in bed thinking I was going to die in Panama, a 7 hour flight and 7 hour bus ride from my friends and family. I went to the doctor which meant an almost three hour chiva ride with a fever trying not to poop myself. It was pretty brutal. Turns out it was just a bacterial infection and I will be fine.

NOW the icing on the mierda cake that has been these last few days is that I get a text message from one of my best friends in the region. Turns out he fell off a 50 foot cliff Sunday, doesn´t remember two days, and now is heading to the same hospital I just left. I really wish I were still there to offer support. I really wish it were easier to communicate so I could see how he´s doing. I really wish that these things weren´t happening all at once. Gracias a Dios he´s still alive. I just don´t know whether or not he´ll medically separated. I don´t know if he´s had any permanant damage. It would be heartbreaking to see him have to leave after all this. The most frustrating thing is that there is nothing anyone can do. It´s all up to luck now.

Santa Maria, Madre de Dios… Santa Maria, Madre de Dios… Santa Maria, Madre de Dios

2009-07-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

This is where I will live after homestay time... I´m pretty sure it´s the nicest place in Peace Corps. You might notice the air conditioner. Sigh... I feel like I´m missing out on the suffering aspect of this job.

My Deutsch-Panameño buddy Jaime at novena

My best friend and hunting partner Jonathan. He later chased me around with a piece of cow shit. ¡COCHINO! "Pero es SECO" I don´t care... it´s still gross. This is why we tite son.

This pretty much sums up my site.

I'm finally settling into my site. It's been quite the roller coaster. I'll let the pictures do most of the talking but I do have one odd story to tell. This week was Novena, the celebration of la Virgin del Carmen. The story goes that in 1998 Santa Maria saved some people from drowning on the beach here. Well, every night there has been church services with songs and fireworks. Usually the women and children go inside the church (well… the kids usually run in and out yelling) and the men stand outside and talk. On the final night, the night of the procession, the Padre came to deliver a more formal mass and he was furious about that tradition. He told the congregation they were disrespectful and that he was ashamed and then he left. Keep in mind he got paid for this. Maybe you had to be there, but it kind of reminded me of a Marquez novel in the sense that some pompous authority figure comes in, takes the money, insults people and runs. Instead of the procession being led by the Padre, people would randomly spit out Hail Marys and sing whatever parts of the songs they knew. So, in the end, the Virgin got an awkward spin around the block. It was quite the topic of conversation the next day. Some people thought the Padre was really unprofessional, and some people were ashamed that we couldn't be more respectful of the service. It was a little of both really.

The next night was a baile and I'm happy to report that I'm alive. I live next door to the cantina so I was really apprehensive about the craziness. Luckily I managed to get some sleep. The two bailes I've been to follow a formula so I think they all go like this: first off there is one band but nobody really dances. Men use this time to get really hammered. A few women participate but mostly they just sit at the tables looking super pissed and checking out what everyone is wearing. Then comes the Panamanian version of freestyling. Last night's topic was whether women or men are better. At the other baile it was a straight up diss contest that ended when one dude killed the other with a line about his gallina sitting on his huevos. After this comes the main event. People push the tables out and a new band takes the stage and people start to get down. Usually there is a fight in there somewhere.

I was considering leaving at the first part of the baile because the singers' mics were up WAY too high. You know if it's too loud for me, it's too loud. I was really tempted to go up and help them mix that janx. The thing is… in most típico music, at least around here, you begin each verse by doing a modified gritar (yelling/yodeling) so if you have people doing that at the top of their lungs… while choking the mic… while it's turned up WAY over the guitars, it's going to be painful. And it was physically painful. But anyway. I'm glad I stuck around because the dancing part was fun. People were patient with me not knowing or caring what I was doing. The whole town was having a blast and it was great to see everybody tear it up.

Last night's fight was way better than the one last week. This one guy pushed the other off his chair and spilled a bucket of ice on him. There was only one really good punch but it cracked off the dude's chest like a whip. Other than that there was mostly a big show about throwing chairs. There were no police in town last night so my Brazilian (meaning he's a lot bigger than most Panamanians) buddy and about four others helped hog tie the offender until they could get there. As long as you keep your distance, it's all part of the entertainment.

On the work front, I'm going to start teaching in the school next month. I'm giving English classes Thursday and Friday because Maestra isn't there those days. On Wednesdays I want to share lesson plans with her in order to make it somewhat of a learning experience for the both of us since she won't be able to observe me. I'm planning the all-important first meeting of the tourism group. I think the most sensible avenues for this town would be to have an artisan group, figure out what services we can offer surfers, and/or sell plants, trees, and compost to gringos. Well see if the community in general is down with all that or if it's only the people I've been talking to who like the ideas.

Some is rich and some is poor and that's the way the world is

2009-06-24T14:51:00.000-07:00

I GOT TO VISIT MY SITE!!! First I want to apologize for not taking pictures. I was thinking it would be better to hold off in order to avoid coming off like a tourist. They'll will be plenty soon. It started with a conference in Coclé; we got to meet our community guides there. Miriam was great and she really made the awkwardness of it a lot less awkward. I'll spare you the details of the conference other than the fact that it was pretty useful. We had some really long bus rides (It's about a 7 hour trip from the city) and when we got to Las Tablas, the biggest city near me, we were set to take another bus but fortunately, Miriam's boyfriend was in town with his buddy and he was able to give us a ride. I was really relieved because I'm finally starting to feel poor. The boyfriend is a gringo and I was surprised at how many there are here. Brody seemed really friendly and useful in terms of clueing me in on the ex-pat drama. There is a lot of it. I'll think I'll have to keep some distance from Brody in some ways, sadly. If I'm over there aprovecharing his hot water or guitar, how would that look? Not very good. I came away from this week realizing that I should just stay away from the gringos here. Word on the street is that the best ones are naïve about Panamá and the worst are mentally unstable. Not many people are acting with the communities interests in mind. Granted, some of the problems may be due to poor communication. For example, there is a law that you have to wear a shirt in town but the gringos are thinking "Hey I'm coming back from a tropical beach. No shirt, no shoes, no problem" so they go without and the corregiadura doesn't enforce the law for them. Both of my counterparts take it as a serious lack of respect though. If anything, I'll see if the tourism group wants to improve communication with the hotel owners or just do their own thing. (Hmm… I smell a UNION! …just kidding Peace Corps please don't send me home)

The tourism group is very promising. My first meeting with them was really awkward though, even for me, and I'm usually pretty awkward. I really hadn't put much thought into it so I just read a little speech. I choked on my Spanish but that always happens when I'm nervous. At least I expect it now. To be fair, my Spanish is way better than most gringos here. A few don't learn at all apparently. It’s a good confidence booster. Anyway, at the meeting I even forgot to ask people's names! Afterwards, things were much better talking to my counterpart Alexis and his brother. His brother spends most of his time in Germany but even he still seemed to take a real interest in the work here. There is a vivero set up to grow trees to sell to the hotel owners. It just needs some cleaning up before planting. The previous volunteer set it up as a way to combat deforestation while getting the community dollars. Genius! I wanted to do something with deforestation as a side project anyway. So, since the community has the motivation and material needed to do something good, it looks like my main task is to get the committee organized and set up a business model for the tree thing.

I also got to visit the school. The English teacher works only three days a week in my site and the rest in Tonosí. I'm getting the feeling that they will actually want me to teach in the school which is what I was afraid of. I have to ask myself how sustainable that would be to just teach the class myself but I suppose if the kids learn English they will still know it when I'm gone.

As far as where I'm going to live after my homestay, there are two options. One is actually the Centro de Communicación Ambiental which would be great because it's a modern building in the center of town with a flush toilet (for when there is running water). There is already a bed and a kitchen so I wouldn't have to buy all that much with my moving in allowance. Plus, I get to live where I work. The drawback is that I definitely would not be living like a community member, so it's not very good for pasearing. The other option, this house on a hill I have yet to see up close also has the same problem because it's so far for people to just drop in.

The people are really friendly here and they have lots of yummy fruit! Miriam's ten year old neighbor is totally in love with me so he brings me mangoes. He's this adorable kid with a hoarse voice that I assume he got because he yells all the time. He likes to catch pe'ca'o and play baseball and cards. I taught him and his cousin Slap Jack (he says it "Flep Jerk) and they wouldn't let me stop playing. I won him over when he saw I had a biombo (slingshot) I had made at culture week. We went iguana hunting right away. He hit one and made it made so it dropped its tail, fell out of the tree, and escaped. I'm glad it got away because it would have been too small to eat. We would just have killed an animal for no reason. I've noticed that my attitude towards animals is definitely changing. I kicked a puppy. Not hard though.

My host mom's niece invited me to watch a movie (Tropic Thunder… sorry Walt… again) with some of her friends. One of the friends was dog sitting for Americans so we watched it at the big house. It was super nice, even by my middle-class American standards. The owner also has a house on the beach! Mind you, we are already in walking distance. I don't think the niece understood why I was gritting my teeth when she told me that. I had been holding my poop, bathing in the creek, and bucket bathing because there was no water and now I'm watching a movie on a flat screen with Rock Band hooked up to it. You better believe the house had water too. I'm not complaining per se. The creek bath was really fun. It's just that my sense of justice was quite offended. My momma always said that life's not fair though. She's right.

I met an evangelical here who almost converted me. He's a good talker. Maybe I just liked him because he had a monkey.

The beach here is beautiful! It's black sand and I have to be careful because the waves are huge!!! I got knocked on my butt a lot. Also, every so often there are drug runners on the shore at night. I don't say this to embarrass the community (Peace Corps please don't send me home). They know it goes on. I don't say this to worry you back home. It's just the reality of life here. America's and Europe's bad habits are Panama's troubles. The truth is, there isn't anything to worry about as long as I don't do anything stupid like ask questions of a sketchy person. I feel really safe here already, in fact. The community is tight-knit and if I've got a problem, they'll help. Also, there are a lot of cars around so I can get out easily in case of emergency or illness. In Peace Corps you can't have a car but I'm mulling over the idea of getting a horse! It would be good for going to the beach. I think it's too far to ride out to Tonosí regularly but it would be nice not to have to rely on a bus.

That's about it for first impressions. I really lucked out with my site. I don't really feel like I'm in the Peace Corps, in a good way. Not that I want to rub it in the faces of my brothers and sisters in the Comarca and Darien but chances are good that I won't get amoebas. (Chiggers though… JEEEEEEEEEEEZ. I had a run in with them after my hunt for iguana. I woke up the next morning with my shirt bloody from scratching and my feet look like I have small pox). I'm just getting eaten from the outside and somehow that makes it seem better.

AZUERO VISIT!!!

2009-06-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

Jonah demonstrating some machismo for the camera!

This is Katie and I cooking some Chicha from corn. Yum yum. She´s clearly ready for lunch.

An iguana from the iguana farm! They raise them for food and release 10% into the wild to support the species. One of them bit me. It hurt and bled a lot but they are still cute.

So I´m getting tired of being at the internet cafe but I felt compelled to update this blog so I´m just gonna copy and paste a letter home. Enjoy! Culture week was a blast!!!

This week I had "culture week" which means that we went to our region to learn more about the culture in that specific place. It was a load of fun. The azuero is all about cowboys so it was a really wild trip! We went on a really long hike through beautiful cow pastures (and cow poop) and got to swim in a nice little swimming hole. Who knew that deforestation could be so beautiful. We worked on a little farm and also helped kids plant crops at their school. Little kids are really good with machetes here. Could you imagine a school in the states letting 11 year olds hack up the yard at their school? I got bit on the finger by an iguana when we went to work on an iguana farm. Those little jerks can bite hard! It´s pretty much healed up now though. They raise them to eat but they release a percentage into the wi ld to preserve the species. On our last day there we had contests and a baile (BIG OLD DANCE PARTY) with our host families. For the contests we had a sling shot competition, a rodeo competition (our host Jonathan and his buddy wrestled down a cow!), a dance off, and a salomar competition. Salomaring is the Panamanian equivelent of yodeling but it sounds like a cross between a dog and a rooster. It´s nuts. It´s very much the wild wild west out there. The only downside is the machismo. Men are men and women are... in the kitchen. Que va. I really hope my town is similar to the one we visited. My site is on the beach in so maybe there will be fewer cows but we´ll see. I can´t wait to check it out next week!

Tech Week

2009-05-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

Well, its been a really tough, but rewarding week. We spilt up by sector and headed out for some hands on training in our areas. We taught a class, helped students with a recyling project, and helped make a brochure and webpage for El Cope´s tourism group. El Cope was absolutely beautiful. Nice mountains and cloud forest. We hiked in Omar Torijos National Park

My host family there was great! They were almost too nice! I didn´t feel like I was worth all the fuss. On the last night, they had me and my buddy Nicky dress up in Polleras. It was pretty hot if I do say so myself. Right now I´m in Chitre for the night gearing up for culture week so I don´t have too much time for an in depth post. I´m totally drained but still having a good time. Next week. I can expect more dancing, possibly milking cows and plenty of salomaring (look it up it´s awesome).

Dile "No" a las Drogas

2009-05-20T16:03:00.000-07:00

This past week I had my first awesome malaria meds dream. It took place at my parent's house which makes it even weirder. 50 cent and the fat Columbian guy from Vice City were trying to get me to buy their kilos of cocaine. They start to fight over who would sell to me and when I said I wasn't buying they came after me. All of a sudden, I am at my best friend from childhood's house and 50 cent is coming after me with a hand grenade. He blows himself up trying to blow ME up. I wake up. I start chuckling to myself.

Now, there is a telenovela here that my family watches about a Columbian cartel and in my Spanish class we had a quick discussion about why it's really important not to confuse "coco" with "coca" so it makes sense why that was part of my dream but I have no idea where 50 cent came from.

I was able to spend a good chunk of time with my host family this past weekend. My fake mom taught me how to sew… I thought I knew how but I was doing it all wrong apparently. I ripped my pants on the hike in Bocas and I went to repair them but she saw what a terrible job I was doing and coached me through it. It's a good thing too because it wasn’t going to hold for very long the way I had it. My fake mom has been great about teaching me stuff. She seems to understand that I want to be able to do things for myself for the most part. She also led me through doing laundry with the semi-automatic machine. It's kind of rough on the clothes but she got stains out of my socks that the washer back home never could. It's pretty cool to learn this home ec type stuff that no one seems to think is important anymore in the US. On Sunday we made tamales to sell to fund Christmas celebrations. Preparations began the night before and early in the morning I went to the neighbors where a big work force was already going full blast and helped grind some maiz for a while. Mostly, I watched and hung out with my SAS (Sustainable Agriculture Systems) buddy who lives there. I was so excited to try one of the tamales and it was well worth the wait. They were so good! They were cooked in banana leaves and the masa was well seasoned with broth from the chicken and all sorts of spices. There were bits of bone-in chicken and peas inside. Yum.

After cooking I went with my fake mom and sister to my fake aunt's house. It was a really nice place with a balcony that had a nice view of this beautiful sloping green hill. We played bingo and I got taken for 2 dollars. Some advice: never challenge a Panamanian at bingo. They will win.

After participating in the national past time, we all got eaten alive by mosquitoes while waiting for the bus. My fake sister did a little dance to keep them away. I've even got some bites on my butt. It's pretty amazing. I also have a perfectly straight row of bites on my left foot. I'm assuming it was an OCD mosquito that got me there. On my right, I've got one on my little toe that is probably getting infected. There is a lot I really like about this country but I have to say that I am getting really tired of feeling like a feed bag for the bugs.

Also, I just saw a cockroach the size of a mouse. For real.

But the REALLY big news is that I now know where I´ll be!!!

It´s a SURF TOWN in the Azuero region (Panama´s heartland... where all the traditional craft stuff and cattle ranching goes down). This is where the biggest Carnaval parties are so plan your visit accordingly. It´s funny that Walt always jokes about how I´m going to spend two years on the beach and now I actually am! Not too many sites were by the water. I don´t want, and am not supposed to, say the site name on this public forum but if I know you, you´ll hear me talk more in specifics. For now, let is suffice that there is all kinds of fun ecological side projects for me to get into, protecting sea turtles, beach clean up, giving information on why deforestation is bad... maybe I´ll even plant a few trees on my own time. My main goals though are working with the tourism organization (I´m so glad they have one) and teaching English. The town is really interested in learning the business aspects of tourism so I plan to put a lot of energy there. They already have surfers come in and people checking out the nearby national park so it´s just a matter of getting the money to stay in the community. There is a foreign owned resort in town so that could be good or bad. The good is that they hire people from the community to do dances for the guests and the bad is that the community has to compete with that kind of capital. We´ll see how it all goes. The site is pretty ye ye (rich-snooty-preppy) I should have potable water and electricity. The only thing is that it´s an hour´s hike to get cell phone reception. I might try to do without but we´ll see. The public phone in town is broken so I´d be bien incommunicado. Anyway, you should expect to schedule your calls with me ahead of time :-P.

Miss you all back home!!!

Que lastima

2009-05-15T14:08:00.000-07:00

So I don´t really have too much to say but I have some extra time to kill in the internet joint. Training is going well and next week we find out our site locations. From what our trainer has told me, I´m very excited. I´ll keep you all posted. The sad news is that I seem to have neglected to pack my camera battery charger so there won´t be any pictures for a while. They don´t sell it in Panama apparently but my dad has been nice enough to agree to hook me up. WHAT A GUY!

I really, really miss all you folks back home so please leave some comments saying how you´re doing!

Elections

2009-05-11T15:04:00.000-07:00

This is where I have class

Crazy dancing for el cumpleaños de mi hermano

View of Panama City

This is my host house

So the big news around here has been the election. Last Sunday was the big show. My family was for Balbina for president but Martinelli won. The night of the election was really intense especially since I stay near the school where all the voting goes down. There were celebrations going until 2 in the morning and nobody got much sleep. People don't really sleep in around here. My host mom's brother in law ran for local office but lost so he was really disappointed. Politics is a very different process here than in the US. To start with, voting is essentially mandatory. You need to vote to get a cedula (ID) and you need a cedula to do everything… at least this is how it was explained to me. Also, people are much more open about their politics. Americans, with many loud exceptions, are really hesitant to ask people who they support and talk about policies but here there is little pena. In our training town pretty much everyone has a party flag flying and a poster of their favorite candidate.

The following day was my host brother's birthday party. His actual birthday was the election but there was no time for a fiesta. A handful of the guys got kind of out of hand in a benevolent way. One was dancing and gritar-ing by himself from about 5 when I got home from class until 10:30 when we all went to bed. One gentleman decided to take a rest in the grass for a while. There were fireworks left over from the election and a truck of beer. There was arroz con pollo which may be my favorite dish I've had here. Everybody had a pretty great time and a few other trainees even stopped by and met my family.

My day to day schedule is pretty off the wall during training. We have language class and technical class, in which we talk about development and teaching and whatnot. That is the basic day but we have also had field trips to Panama City, Arraijan, and Chorrera doing scavenger hunts to learn the bus systems and have talks on health and things. Tomorrow we go to visit current volunteer sites. I'll be going to Bocas del Toro, the furthest province to the West. It's going to be an overnight trip and I'm a little nervous about all that traveling but luckily I will have another trainee making the journey with me. Everything I've heard about Bocas sounds really beautiful. It may be too remote for my tastes but we'll see when I get there if I would be comfortable in a site like that. I'm looking forward to narrowing down what I want.

The other big news is that I have a cell phone! Let me know in an e-mail if you want the number. I can receive calls for free and calling Panama can be dirt cheap so don't hesitate!

They said it was a roller-coaster ride

2009-04-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

This will be the last day I have guaranteed internet access so I figured I'd just write about the last two days while I can. Yesterday, we had some lectures and got some shots. That took most of the day. I had a yellow fever injection and hepatitis. We then went to Albrook mall/bus terminal to pick up some last minute items and get acquainted with the bus station. Unfortunately, I got sick there (I think from the vaccine plus adjusting to the food and weather) and had to call the Peace Corps staff letting them know that I was feeling really rough. They were pretty amazing and hunted me down in the huge mall and ending up taking me home. I puked in the van but luckily I had a bag from buying shampoo so there was no nastiness on PC property. I did have time for a few quick observations. Panamanians do dress really will. They haven't been lying about that. Also, malls are pretty much the same wherever you go which is comforting I suppose.

So today I am feeling mostly better which is good because we had a site visit today. We went to an Embera community where a current volunteer is serving. The Embera are a Panamanian indegenous group that subsist mostly on tourism. This particular community was built two years ago after a falling out between the old community and these guys. We had to take a boat to get there. It was amazingly beautiful. There was a monkey and I GOT TO HOLD IT! What more could you ask for? The volunteer there told us what he does and let us ask questions. He told us that a good way to combat the lonliness is to throw ourselves into work. I'm going to take that advice to heart. He seemed really excited about his projects. We discussed strategies for getting tourists in and getting paid fairly for it. The Embera have essentially created a union so the won't get ripped off by tour companies making them compete against each other to the point that they LOSE money by taking in tourists. They fed us really well. Fish from the river, lentils, and rice. It was the best meal I've had here by far. It made for a good day and was a real morale booster too. It's comforting to start to see what is expected of me.

Tomorrow we're going to meet our host familys for the rest of training. No more a/c, no more internet, no more hot water. Time to kick it Peace Corps style.

Our arrival.

Embera women weaving. I bought a woven pot from them.

QUE RICO!!!

This was truely a dream fullfilled although not quite as nice as holding my little niece :-P

Got my pills against mosquito death*

2009-04-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

I'm here in Panama safe. Everyone in the group made it with no issues that I know of. Hurray! Honestly, I'm not sure what to say so I'll just start by describing the day. We woke up at 2:00 am to catch our flight to Miami. It was the most turbulent flight I've been on so far but it turned out ok. I did get a little scared though. So fast forward several, several hours and we're in our site outside of Panama city by the canal. I haven't seen much yet but Panama City seems really neat. It looks like Miami mixed up with some Pirates of the Caribbean set pieces. The canal has some impressive boats in it but I haven't got a close up look. Today we had a brief meeting and the girls got blood tests to make sure we aren't preggers. We got our medical kits, malaria pills, mosquito nets, and water purifiers. Tommorow we learn all about why we need to use them.

The people I'm meeting seem really cool but I'm in such shock still that I haven't really gotten to know too many of them. It's going to take me a while to adjust and I know I need to just let that happen. I was just getting comfortable and really settling in to Baltimore so it makes the change just that much harder now that I don't know anyone and don't know my surroundings. I'm keeping a positive attitude and an open mind though. I think when we start training classes I'll get really gung-ho but for now I'm just a bit tired and overwhelmed. On the plus side, I haven't had too much time to think about that because the Peace Corps staff really has it together. They keep us moving. To tomorrow!

*I in no way endorse Alice in Chains.

This is what the old army base we're staying in looks like:

"Accentuate the positive"

2009-04-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

I'm almost done packing! I feel like I've done a pretty good job of packing light, all things considered.

Ahhh... 1st negative entry. Here we go.

2009-04-15T09:30:00.001-07:00

The only thing worse than leaving your friends, family, and the love of your life for two years and change is having to do it while moving in the relentless rain. Better let up soon.

"I'm sick of the forms! I'm sick of being misread!"

2009-03-26T08:12:00.001-07:00

Just kiddin'. I'm not sick of the forms... yet. I'm sure I will be. In these past two days I've received my staging information and it turns out I'll be in D.C. for a day of orientation. I'm curious about how transit will work because I'm supposed to call and arrange a flight with this travel company but I don't think there are any puddle jumpers from BWI to Reagan International. I assume I can take a train and get reimbursed later? We shall see. It's no sweat to get there so I'm glad.

So, in a nutshell, we collect in D.C. and go over some of the BASIC basics then we all ship off to Panama City on the 22nd and get into the heavier stuff. The 1st day is form day. Then we get all kinds of shots, safety lessons, language lessons, and cultural lessons. There is a field trip. It's been so long since I was on a field trip! I'm pumped. Also, I just ordered the biggest duffel bag known to man.

I got a questionnaire in my e-mail which I wanted to share:
1. What compelled you to join Peace Corps (PC)?
As someone from a developed country, I want to try and share some of the opportunities I have been given while taking advantage of the opportunity to learn from a culture different from my own. I want to challenge myself while providing lasting benefits to my community of service.

2. What attracted you to Panama and made you accept the invitation?
I have been fortunate enough to travel in Central America before and I enjoyed it. Having had that little bit of prior experience is comforting— like I have a little head start in adjusting to the culture. The more I learn about Panama specifically, the more pleased I am that I accepted the invitation. The variety of cultures and landscapes are exciting. I am excited about being selected for this project because I am interested in how tourism can used to create opportunities without destroying cultural identity.

3. How does PC service fit into your personal and/or professional goals? What does post-PC life have in store for you?
I am interested in continuing my work with nonprofits so the experience I gain will be invaluable as far as managing resources and organizing people are concerned. I am also considering some of the grad school programs for RPCVs. Lastly, I have studied Spanish academically for a very long time and am excited for the opportunity to actually become fluent.

4. What is the greatest expectation that you have about your service as a volunteer?
That I will be able to help create an autonomous project that benefits the community
on their own terms.

5. What is the greatest worry or concern that you have about your service as a volunteer?
That I will not accomplish anything lasting.

6. What do you think will be the greatest challenge you will face as a volunteer?
I think the greatest challenge will be to learn enough about the culture to properly
motivate the community and help them meet their goals.

Is there any specific information/background that might be useful to assist us in site placement? (Include even if also listed on your resume and aspiration statement)
• Technical Schooling/Training:

• International Experience: I have traveled for about 10 days each with my high school in: China, Cuba, and the Scandinavian countries. I have spent a little over a week at a home stay with an au pair friend in the Netherlands. I spent two weeks in Costa Rica with a volunteer group and one month in Ireland on a study abroad internship.

• Language: I have a minor in Spanish

• Work Experience: I am currently a Fair Housing Specialist with Baltimore Neighborhoods.

• Other: Part of my Costa Rica trip involved trying to encourage ecotourism. We helped maintain trails into the forest and built a bus stop as a way to encourage tours.

7. What do you consider are the most important/personal/professional strengths that you bring to your work as a Volunteer?
Personally, I can be very determined and so I would hope that my enthusiasm for potential projects would encourage the community. I am respectful of cultural differences which, with any luck, would give me some credibility as a community organizer. Professionally, I have very strong organizational and general office skills. I have had some informal experience teaching and in Costa Rica I helped teach English to children and teenagers.

8. What do you feel are your weaknesses?
My biggest weakness may be a lack of confidence in my projects. Sometimes, I have a hard time asking for help or clarification of instructions.

10. What might cause you to consider an early termination of your service in PC?
Illness and perhaps thinking that the community does not need a volunteer.

11. Describe your working style: are you a self-starter? Independent? Need structure? Etc.
I like structure while I am learning my work but then I prefer independence once I have it down.

12. How do you feel about being in a community with:
Alcohol use- It is not my ideal situation but I would be able to deal with it.

Volunteers reasonably close by- I would prefer this.

Strong religious groups- I don’t have a preference although I am not very religious myself so there would be culture shock.

Only dug-out canoe access- I am ok with this.

Only hiking access- I am ok with this.

Indigenous- I have no preference of Latino or Indigenous communities although since I have experience with Latino communities, I may be more effective there.

Only airplane access- I think I may feel too isolated if there were only airplane access.

Tons of kids- Kids are great.

No electricity- I would prefer electricity but I understand that it is not always available at PC sites.

No privacy- I like my privacy but I understand that PC service requires you to be willing to part with some of that.

Harsh conditions (Extreme heat, dust, lack of running water)- I would prefer running water but I understand that it is not always available at PC sites. As for heat and dust, I think I could adapt.

River crossings- I am ok with them

Introduction!

2009-03-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

To avoid mass e-mail, I've decided to keep a blog of my Peace Corps experience. JFK asked me what I can do for my country and so, next month, I'm headed off to Panama to ultimately become a "tourism and English consultant". I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I'm excited. It looks like I'll be able to update this bad boy about once a month. That seems to be the average for the other Peace Corps blogs I've been reading. I'll kick this off with some fun things I've learned about Panama!

Everything in el bosque will kill you, sting you, poison you, or lay its eggs in you. (just kidding but it's starting to seem that way).
Speaking of... they have coral snakes! I want to see one because they are the prettiest snake but I don't want to see one because (SURPRISE!) they can kill you.
There are several indigenous groups in Panama and they have the some of the most political autonomy of any native people in the Americas.
Panama is on the US dollar... I had no idea.
Cashews grow wild but are really poisonous before you roast them and even then the smoke during cooking is toxic.
Some people have a poison-ivy-like reaction to mango leaves.
The Peace Corps makes you take a swim test in which you turn your pants into a flotation device... I'm very curious to see how I will hold up.
Hot dogs are a favorite. Really big. The breakfast of champions.
Pasta goes with rice. They do that in Costa Rica too though. :-P
A lot of pc volunteers adopt pets. I really want a dog! I don't want to feel like I'm cheating on Hobbes though. Maybe I'll stuff him in my bag...
It is considered weird to live alone en el campo. I kind of already knew this but I had no idea of the extent of it.
There is one active volcano in Panama. If you visit me, we're going there. I don't care how many times I see it.
I'm going to need to buy high heels for la ciudad.
Mother's Day is a massive blowout. Maybe not as huge as hotdogs but almost...
Bob Villa is a Peace Corps Panama alumnus.

So there it is. Keep an eye on this page for contact info as it comes up and changes. Please leave plenty of comments so we can keep in touch! Also, start making plans to come visit because I'm already homesick.